Sunday, May 19, 2013

HEMOTIONS: SURVIVING THE MALE TAG.



Emotions of Males have no value. Most of the times they are not even considered to be existing and if they do, they are not respected and understood correctly. Hence, also often blamed on failure for not executing things well as they are never analyzed emotionally. There is generally a feeling of doing a favor on men while doing anything for them.

My elder senior colleague had witnessed me as a newly married husband, then a husband coping with the marriage, a struggling husband and a separated husband contemplating peaceful divorce. She was one of the rare persons who digged deep and made me speak out and feel light. She had gifted me one wonderful book "Why Men Don't Listen and Woman Can't read Maps".

Somedays back I was reminded of this BOOK and its Content Again. It was when, I stumbled upon TD Jakes' Video "Hemotions" while I was surfing for Joyce Meyers on youtube. Both of them have one thing in common and that is Sensitivity for Men as Human.

Pastor TD Jakes explains wonderfully about MAN and what the tip-of-the-tip-of-this iceberg is all about. He calls it HEmotions in one way.

Few Noteworthy Points in the "must see" powerful video, and some of them from the book and other observations of mine. 

Point 1: Men Suffer.

Point 2: Men talk straight to the point.

Point 3: Men don’t discuss when they are thinking.

Point 4: Men Suffer Silently and they readily don’t respond when they are asked about their problem.

Point 5: Men withdraw into their Mental Caves in search of introspection and solution. Men Stare and mentally process within while they appear to watch TV or play with their Gizmos or superficially engage in some activity or just stare blankly, this can be a very long process across days in search of a solution.

Point 6: Men are vulnerable, Men are Humans, they too have Emotions.

Point 7: V IMP: A) MEN are programmed to (measure) rate themselves by SCORES even emotionally, because they are programmed to participate in Playing, maintaining ranks etc. They are wired like that. This scoring pattern is all about being “at-par if not better” in scores on planes of Earnings, authority etc with everyone around right from colleagues, relatives or relations including spouse. So that the spouse genuinely admires them and not compromisingly.

B) With Spouse it also includes even scores of one’s PAST in personal relations (v imp), men are happy if their scores are better off or atleast EQUAL but NOT inferior. If they are personally satisfied with scores then proudly they would flatter their lady publicly. It is motivating for them to have better scores on personal front in majority of the cases. While outwardly they would happily admit they are inferior because inwardly they feel superior and secure. Remember they are competitive in analysis. 

If they feel inferior then they begin with fighting the situation and on realizing that damage cannot be undone, they quit. Coz they are warriors by heart and they like to WIN. If they hang around they are not settled they literally die of disease fighting mentally, coping up.

C) They may love their counterparts even while they are quitting. It is just that they’ve tried their very best to fight out and they are convinced that they too can’t handle it as humans. They too take time recuperating. They continue to suffer silently. Some lucky ones turn to god, others get into a counterproductive loop of addiction.

D) IMP: If they are unsuccessful in taking a flight trying to be a MAN or take too long to recover even after flight (quitting), they land up with diseases on the outward front- could be stress, anxiety, diabetes, blood-pressure etc; and they commit suicide or die early because of pressure, often labeled as work stressed. However death would be the ultimate flight and the real reasons on personal front would die with him most of the times and no one would know that they were emotionally stressed at personal front too as lesser know as humans and more as MEN.   

A "lot to write" but as of now….….WATCH THIS VIDEO that says ITS HARD TO BE A MAN. I feel it is even HARDER…..
Summary Video (must watch):

Detailed Video (must watch):

Thank You Pastor T D Jakes for this wonderful Sermon. (I cry and cry alot when I hear you, and feel you Understand).

HEMOTIONALLY, A-MEN....

:'(

13 comments:

  1. Wonderfull post Jinesh bhia.
    Yes Jakes' analysis is good to some extent but the indian "feminine" instincts and deeds are even beyond his comprehension. I had been viewing his SERMONS on marriage which clearly falls out of indian context !!

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  2. Dear Manthan,

    Thanks for your views. I am coming from a very core basic approach called emotions.

    This is about emotions of MEN and I find it Accurate.

    Ya, marriage is a different topic though.

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  3. Thanks Saigal Arvind for your encouraging words.

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  4. Thanks for writing such a enlightening article. Thanks for bringing such a Gem and thought about Men - being the silent sufferer.
    The Sermon of Bishop T D Jakes is much thought provoking, heard the entire content and was very much touched to know that atleast somewhere so far somebody like him had a Radical thought that Men too suffer unlike women, Men too are human beings, persons of feelings and He-motions. But in a country like ours wherein everything is so anti-Men that only suffering is Law and Justice is dream.

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  5. Rightly said Jinesh.

    Rating themselves by scores is coming from a deep internal DNA programming and social hardcoding which is of a protector and provider. A man will get the princess if he can be the protector and provider, hence he always tries to rate himself against others. Which promotes the highly competitive attitude.

    Flattering the lady publicly is coming from the social upbringing where due to their competitive attitude they need to take decisions and the ladies tend to be kiddish and shrug responsibility. Therefore, we end up getting this juvenile behavior from both sexes.

    And yes, if they score less on a comparative basis, they need to prove themselves to gain the acceptance of the fair sex and tend to be aggressive and more competitive.

    Regards,
    R.N.

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  6. Jinesh Jee,

    May PEACE be with YOU and ALL Men Fraternity is my genuine prayer.

    We cannot measure all women with the same yard stick, though Your idea as well as where You are coming from - both are comprehended well.

    Dear Almighty came to Your aid in the disguise of one time senior colleague and further too would guard one and all. Heart felt regards to that noble soul for gifting You timely. Thanks for sharing the vdo clips.

    It is undenying a fact that women need men for their each single happiness. High time certain hard hearted females realize the same to avoid further damages to the equally sensitive creation of God~ MEN.
    Be well. CHEERS!
    JaiSatChitAnand

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  7. Thanks RN for your views. Keep 'em coming.

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  8. Thanks Dear Unknown for going through this article.

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  9. Dear Anonymous,

    Thanks for your time and Views. Wish You Well too.

    Jai SatChitAnand.

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  10. Thank You Dinesh for your encouragement. and as always its my pleasure to share the info.

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  11. Jinesh Jee,
    Let Your pen flow.

    JaiSatChitAnand

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