MARD KO BHI DARD HOTA HAI

 

MEN TOO FEEL THE PAIN

Whenever I am down, My brother always encourages me by telling “If Gandhiji was not thrown out of the Train, he would have served the British rule as an advocate. But he was the chosen one and so are you all”

Save Indian Family was a heart felt cry that came out in 2004-5 and today after all the humiliation Men have decided to create their own space rather than just being accused of having one since centuries.

The ones who were jailed for investigations are either victims turned rebellious like Arpit (who coined the title that inspired me to blog this Post) or like vishy who is still recovering from depression he says his fault was not to concede his wife’s demand for divorce and he got a well managed 498a. He still remembers the filthy atmosphere in an over crowded Arthur jail, bathing in cold water amid all mates with one tumbler in hand and managing soap with the other in a limited time of water supply, 2 hrs in morning 4am-6am if missed due to queue, then in evening 2hrs. Food and hygiene nowhere near to proper health standards.

This is one fraternity. The other is unsung unnoticed where only threats are sufficient to lose a father with a chronic terror or lose a job and suffer from a Blood pressure and Diabetes and the fatal panic as a result of uncertainty. The pre 498a’s and non subjudice lot who have got the coaching of law misuse from their stubborn other half.

They all are united and growing. Thanks to the pathetic state of affairs of execution of law. The new arm is now the mothers and sisters of the husbands supported by the fathers of husbands and father of the estranged kid due to a stubborn mother.

On 19^th November 2009 pan India these people are going to shake the government who is pretending sleep with hopes that they notice International Mens Day. Mumbai is observing the same with a joint effort by Protect Indian Family, Indian Family Foundation and Childs Right and Family Welfare, that includes a bike rally that will start from Mulund at 10.30am as it would join the Peaceful Dharna at Azad Maidan at 11.30 am approx.

So join us in telling the Government that...

“Where do we ring the bell”

"Mard ko bhi Dard Hota Hai”

“All we wanna say is that they (Govt) don’t really care about us”.

See Ya There…..

Jinesh Zaveri.

Indian Family Foundation (IFF) Launched

Indian Family Foundation (Mumbai)

Name of the Group: Indian Family Foundation

Formed on: 26th October 2009

Contingents: Common people who are threatened or falsely implicated of Wife law misuse.

Least Common Factor: Harassed Husbands and Family Members

Highest Common Factor: the spirit of fighting back for their constitutional rights inspite of Rejection, Ignominy and underdog status, due to Imbalanced Law.

Aim: To be the change that they wish to see the world

Observations: Were asked to prove their innocence by the police, Indian law and Now by some journalists at the press conference.

Our Answer: “We are sadly presumed Guilty till proven Innocent, as you are proving our point, since this is highly unconstitutional and government is pretending sleep, Where do we go? Where do we ring the bell?”

We are innocent and we will not give up, we are here to stay.

a question yet unanswered... (in pic Jaspreet)

Myself in the centre with Meena Muthaji proving a point and Sandeep Kedia alongside

The growing family of Harrassed Families

Hunks who refused to be Henpecked or Handcuffed

Our Demands:
- Have Ministry for Welfare for Men
- Time to review: Debug the loopholes by making the definition of all Wife centric laws neutral in other words change the word Wife to Spouse or atleast make it women centric (where the mother and sister of husband are protected), Else introduce 498B for males.
- We are not against any law what we are against is the misuse, Introduce a section that keeps a check on misuse of laws and punishes the misuser suo moto.
- Make Alimony laws more practical by aiding the estranged wife on doing courses that make her self dependent, let husband sponsor the course.
- Make Adultery Law Gender Neutral.

We are available on following numbers: (Voluntary Helplines; limited hour operation)
Mumbai Helpline: 9224335577
Jaspreet: 9867619277
Jai: 9819551972
Chirag: 9833673457
Gokul: 9821414336
Shyam: 9820509438
Myself: 9820241589

Able Bodied

I had seen this video 4-5 yrs back before SIF was formed. And it was one of those source that inspired me to go on in life.



I have always wondered what would the judges in India (who blindly grant alimony as per an able bodied wife's wish) say after seeing this video. This video should be shown to the Judges of Indian Courts who handle the alimony matters. Who grant Alimony to the Able Bodied Wife without a second thought that she is capable of working in this era of equality.

This lady with no hands runs her own business apart from running a happy family. Why do they willingly handicap the otherwise Indian Independent Wife, independent of her duties at her matrimonial home.

Infact Indian judges are of the backward mentality who by granting alimony suggest that wife cannot and should not work. Why haven't feminists thought of teaching them a lesson. As these judges should be blamed for granting an easy money to the ABLE BODIED WIFE with intact hands in this era of equality.

I salute this lady. She is able bodied from her mind. She is my source of inspiration when I am down. As she calmly leads by example by saying "Where there is a will there is a way."

Cheers,

Jinesh Zaveri.

India: Mass Rape V/s Raping the Mass

In past few days Rape wave in the media has again become Bullish. If we believe the headlines trend then it seems like Rapists suddenly have woken up from Slumber and that too in groups. Maybe the bureaucrats want to influence the minds of public via media to pass some stringent laws on rape again with specifics against men and non neutral with loop holes open for misuse. Oh ya we know what would come next, the justification of misuse on men. All I am trying to say is rapes were happening before and are still happening but suddenly they are finding mention in large numbers in media. Here’s to explain how.

Mass Rape: (many persons raping one)
Rape itself is very disturbing, but I get very much disturbed when I read the Gang Rape News; as genuine victim must have undergone such a trauma. I was quite glad when 3 Surat rapists guys were beaten by the public based on the MMS evidence. The Surtis were very kind enough to just kick the victims they could have used rods instead. Gujarat is proudly one of the most politically incorrect states and I am proud to be from Surat.

But in Madhya Pradesh shockingly one 45 yr old lady (Mother of a young Indian Husband) accused of Dowry (u/s 498a) was mass raped by the Bhopal police while in custody on bail denial. I was sure the bail was denied to her as her Rape was on the agenda of the Police. They must have prepared a charge-heavy fictitious FIR on the lady so that she could be denied bail and later Raped. Alas nobody in the media is talking about it beyond a day as there is no media follow up. Where as Surat, Bhayandar and other Gang Rape often find space in the tabloids. Why so ? Just because the other lady is a relative of a husband in the eyes of law hence? This media bias in general has always been there. As they fail to identify mother and sister of a Husband as a lady. Also anyone favoring the husband is perceived as anti social and is taken to task, be it a wife defending her husband for being raped by a lady.

Raping the Mass: (One person raping the entire group)
We have heard of Mass Rape but Lady Raping the Mass goes unheard and unnoticed. In India, a so called helpless lady can Rape the Mass, this frequent activity goes un-noticed very frequently. For example in above news a daughter in law of Bhopal is Raping the family by law and her complain has been instrumental for physical rape on her Mother in law and the report comes in as ritual news with no follow ups by media on the proceedings of the case and no journalist is taking up this as an issue of concern, NCW is Deaf and Mute when it comes to any other lady that is not a wife. Legally she has Raped the Mass called her matrimonial family with the help of the law. Got her MIL physically raped.

The other day another Mass was legally raped by one wife, she did not even spare 2 month old daughter of her ex’s second wife from a 498a. The news article is not clearly stating as to police included the name of the infant in the complain and later destroyed that evidence of mistake or lawyer made money in acquiring the bail or both. But clearly amid all what is ignored is the Legally Raped 8 victim family members of the ex husband who is charge sheeted of 498a to satisfy one wife’s stubbornness.

Rape case is still better than 498a as only the Rapist is the accused. TADA is better as only the terrorist is accused. But 498a is a RAPE of a MASS where all relatives / acquaintances of husband are Legally RAPED by legal terrorism (498a), be it neighbors, long distance relatives or even a 2 month old infant, no one is spared. And this misuse exists in above 80% cases. The infant bail article quotes Ram Jethmalani, Girijaji and others but none have suggested any stringency for the abuse of law. Pretending Sleep?

Rape is Rape be it by a man on woman or woman on man, be it gang rape on a girl or be it a gang rape on a 498a pre trial accussed husband’s mother. And even Mass Rape by virtue of a false complains on a family by legal means is also Rape, sadly out of every 100 cases constituting to 98% arguably fall under the misuse category YoY.

Essay Topic: My Father

Today Evening I heard Rajesh Vakharia of SIF Nagpur sighing to me on the phone that his child did not make it on Fathers Day and he was pining and feeling very lonely for someone calling him Pappa. This pain in the voice inspired me to write this post on what could be the plight of the Child too. As I feel apart from Fathers, children deprived of parental love are the worst to suffer, deprival of father's love being one of them. Meanwhile I just imagined what kind of perception would such kid have, i am attempting to express the same by seeing from the kids' viewpoint in an Essay of 10 Marks in a typical school examination, feel free to assess and give marks. :-)

- Jinesh

.-

Q7: 10 Marks
Write An Essay: on 1 of the following:
1. My Father
2. My last summer vacation
3. My favourite Sport.

A7)

My Father

My name is Shravan, I am in 3rd Standard. Some days back I discovered that I still have a father. I met him 2-3 times in a building called court and for just from 2oclock to 4oclock, my dad kept on telling to spend some more time with me but momma had to go somewhere and did not want to leave me. But she promised in next few weeks I will meet papa at the same place for 2 hours again.

Before this I saw my father only in the albums of my mausi’s marriage and that too when I asked and asked that time my momma told that person next to she in the photograph is my dad I was not born that time. Till then I felt only Rohan, Nikhil and Aryan have dad, my dad just like shruti’s dad must have got lost in bomb blast in train by terrorists. But then his photograph was not hanging on the wall in the house so I used to wonder. And my mom told me that she is only my papa.

I still do not know why he will meet me only in that building? I do not think he stays or works there. He is always in his TSHIRT with C R I S P or Save Indian Family written on it, it must be his office school uniform. Momma now says he stays in the office because of work. But yes I heard my mom telling my Nani that my last month school fees got late because my fathers salary was late, but because I was standing and mother came to know she smile and keep fingers on lips. I think my father is a manager in a big office.

Now I also tell Varun and abhishek about my father’s meeting, I tell them that he tells this and he does that. We all tell each other about our father. I think there is police problem because there are police also standing in the building. There are many father coming in that building who meet their children. I saw one of the uncle and his daughter in the newspaper on fathers day with my fathers CRISP TShirt, standing next to Mickey Mouse.

On Father’s day all my friends celebrate fathers day but I was feeling like crying. Because my mother said that court building is closed on Sunday. Next time I will take pappa’s mobile number. I want to play cricket just like Aryan plays with his papa. I want to go and see the picture of Hritik Roshan and Abhishek Bachchan with him. I want him to lift me on his shoulders and play mutent niNja with him. I want choclate everyday and not just in that building. I don’t want to wait till next time but get him whenever I want so that I can tell him to buy my games. Aayush and Aarti are brother sisters but I am alone no Father no brother sister.

I promise to study more and do homework on time and play only after that and do whatever mumma says if my father is coming to stay with me. Just like I love my mother I love my father very much. My father tells me whenever he meets me that “I Love You Shravan”. The police and sometimes mummy keeps on looking at us.

Ab kahan bell bajaou?

Which door do we Knock?: Indian Husbands

When the bell bajao campaign hit the screens most of the males who had come for counseling informed me that they too knocked the door of the neighbors when their wives harassed them. In some cases Hubby and his parents were rescued by neighbors from a violent and abusive Surpanakha disguised as Chandi / Sita who would only respect her illogical stubbornness. But in courts these innocents Sr Citizens and their family are treated as criminals and the legal terrorists are funded by state and by her perpetual ATM hubby.

Still some husbands ignorantly trust courts as a recourse (actually so called) for relief till they realize that even courts are helpless. Husbands do a Bell Bajao at the courts in other words they knock the doors of courts hoping (under the false impression) that courts can grant divorce to Indian Husbands easily in India. Alas, Even Judges believe that Divorce by male is anti traditional and the same decision by female is pro modern and it reflects in the hearings and then in judgements.

And worst would be when his fate meets the bench of Katjuji and Vermaji. This bench defied the 5th habit of Stephan Covey of “Seek first to understand and then being understood” and that is ‘if I can see through my specs your vision numbers are irrelevant even you should be able and should see only through my specs.' The bench proved it by saying "Hum sab bhogi hai (we are all sufferers)." And also “The bench further said that a husband has to accept the suggestion of a wife irrespective of the fact whether it is sensible or not.” "If your wife asks you to put your face that side, put it that side. If she says, put it this side, then put it this side. Otherwise you will face trouble. (Are they suggesting legal terrorism?) Link to this news

I once again mention that the spouse on receiving end is ready to barter anything for peace and freedom instead of putting conditions, be it man (mostly) or woman (women even with a legal advantage wants to get rid, if she is really abused). Almost all harassed guys have a mindset for their other halves and that is “What will you take to help me get rid of you?” Some fight for the whole life and reach the Supreme Court.

One such case reached SC after a long battle of anticipating freedom from the clutches of an abusive wife who has abused and charged the husband to be in all sorts of crimes. The retired Air Force officer (husband) offered Rs. 10,00,000 (Rupees One Million) to his wife as a one time settlement of the dispute in the “eyes” of the court. To which the ostensibly biased court advised the Jew to obey the domestic and legal Hitler. Another Henpecked approach by the court who arguably ignored the charges by the husband and the cruelty on him. This is not for the first time that the courts are suggesting hubbies to be henpecked or handcuffed. Some days back another 17 yr old case was featured in TOI against the husband who wanted a legal divorce but SC ordered him to take back his wife inspite of all the false charges against him and the pain of lifetime.

Yaar, these are hearings / judgements, they may or may not affect other hearings, they may or may not dictate a precedent, but just imagine series of cases where a husband wants to stay away from an abusive spouse who thinks abusing as her moral right. He is ready to pay her for the nuisance value and mental peace after almost a battle of decade and a half is ordered to compromise beyond his comfort. Just because the wife has a fail safe 498a/DV/Alimony misuse and hubby has no shield.

Where would the husbands go and knock the door???? Who would listen to them?

Bell Bajao!!!! Par kahan? Where?

Shayad Mandir Mein (May be in Temple) Hey Ishwar are you listening?

Are koi hai? (Is anyone there?)
Knock Knock, Ring Ring,

Jinesh Zaveri.

Bow Wow: Indian Police on Indian men

Well actually I was very lucky in police matters when it was needed. As I did not face all the hurdles with the police that I get to hear from victims over the helpline and in meetings. But finally I saw how they treat Indian husbands and Indian Male by the very virtue of their being one.

I witnessed two cases where the attitude of police was clearly not in favor of the male. One of them being matrimonial which will be discussed when the right time will come, but as of now I would discuss a case that is not a matrimonial but a dispute between 2 genders. This time it’s the neighbors.

34 year old Shyam would not have taken a drastic step to lodge a complain to the society against his neighbor who must be 40 something if he was not aware how vulnerable he is to the chalak Indian women are when they make a ruckus for attention seeking and pressurizing. It was a matter of clearing the dump that belonged to Shyams Neighbors and was piled up at the doorstep of Shyams flat.

Shyams request was turned down very arrogantly and an embarrassing scene was created as his lady neighbor came rushing on him while arguing, thus increasing the chances of a physical contact, to which Shyam resisted and avoided any physical contact while arguing. But later she called it a physical assault on her by Shyam. And gave a statement to the police that she was slapped by Shyam and as usual there was no witness required for this.

Shyam was called on Sunday by the police. Being Sunday we all decided to have our meeting at the Nalasopara Police Station on Shyam’s request. On meeting Shyam the police took off with a high pitch voice. And this is what I witnessed with 9 other SIF Members.

I felt that police was nothing less than a lawyer for the lady, and later it was worst we all felt that he was like a dog with Neck Belt chained to the lady, so loyal and unconditional to her. It went like this.

Police: You are Shyam?
Shyam: Yes

now without asking for explanation the police barked Judge's verdict and tried to threaten....
Police: Bow Wow Bow Wow Tumhare khilaf FIR Hoga woof arf.
Shyam: ?????…….Karo!!!! (Police ka popat, as he expected Shyam to pee in his pants, unaware that he is a trained SIFian and more over a master of procedures due to past experience and ignorance at womens cell)
Police: Bow Wow Tumne ek lady ko Thappad Mara Grrrr woof .
Shyam: Wo to uska statement hai, aap ko mera bhi statement lena padega jo mein dene aaya hu
Police: Statement nahi lunga, BOW WOW FIR Hoga BOW WOW BOW WOW; (Pointing to us) yeh log kaun society wale hai? BOW WOW BOW WOW (Trying pressure tactics on us)

And we all stood with our chest wide and SIF TShirts.

Shyam: Sirji, hum log ka yeh hi kaam hai weekends ko
Police: Kya?
Shyam: Harassed husbands ko counseling karna including their family members, that is siblings and parents. Hum ko procedures ka idea hai. Main apna statement laaya hu, aap pls is par received ka stamp lagakar ek copy mujhe return kijiye.
I spoke: Sirji yeh hi to problem hai, aap bhi kuch nahi kar sakte ho siva apne haathon false statistics ko manufacture hota dekh, wo bhi helplessly. Because a complainant is a lady. But RTI ke figures chaukadene wale hai, supreme court ne accept kiya ke 98% cases law misuse ka shikar hai.
Police: (no more bow wow, now a cow) ok ok haan phir humko to 498a lagana hi padta hai….(pui pui pui…..) and makes a face.
I Spoke: Sir aaj bhi waisa hi case hai na, aurat apne aurat hone ka najaiz faida nahi uthae to behtar hai.
Police: (Jumping to this case) Nahi nahi Hum log to khali bithake baat karenge aamne saamne. Sort our karange. (pui pui pui) (F.I.R PHUSSSSS)
Then shyam gave a briefing of SIF. (The Police more than understood and went and sat at the corner because he knew he was wrong).

Later the complainant lady reached and she tried to cry and what not and was surprised to see that police was quite sobered down than her expectations as police knew that they was dealing with someone who was already harassed and cannot be taken on ride. Really sad she could not witness the BOW WOW of police on Shyam.

The police tried to make it a warning case and asked Shyam to sign it but being aware that police are under some pressure (Maybe bribe or upar se call) he realized the trap coz signing would have given the lady a chance to lodge a 2nd false complaint once again against him post so called accepted warning and then coz more trouble. They bullied that they were registering a 504 but Shyam said even he is entitled to be heard. The police tried to bully him that the matter will be referred to the court if Shyam is not agreeing to sign and Shyam agreed to fight it out in court rather than signing on paper. And insisted that his statement has to be accepted. Police accepted the statement with a lot of embarrassment of having being exposed, the lady watching with a surprise. Police started explaining the surprised lady the procedures as it must have been different version to her now rather than the standard sidha-kar-denge attitude.

The false complainant couple was clueless as they thought vardi’s pressure and lady’s tears would do the trick once again. But sad enough for them, panga SIF ke saath tha. Finally no FIR was lodged and the lady has removed all the garbage outside Shyam’s house.

I tell you all, Shyam (now one of the strongest counselors with SIF) if was not SIF Member he would have been a victim of a false statistics once again. In meetings we introduce each other with our favorite statements to the new victims, that initially when Shyam was harassed by police he had come to me (SIF) for counseling with loose motions but now is capable of giving anyone loose motions who would bully him on false grounds. SIF Zindabad.

Coming back to the point is, this reflects a lot on how police manipulate and make money from innocent victims esp males and how vulnerable are Indian Males. And moreover police’s attitude of being bought by a devil woman for whom they would be no less than a lawyer or a Barking Pet Dog. The same happens in a false 498a, 406 too. The husband faces nuisance of wife, Police and then State who fights in favor of the non compoundable false case against the tax paying husband with no holds barred under the carpet.

Anyways they manufacture statistics and the strong byproduct is a self made SIF Counselor. A grave that they are digging with a misuse of the shield.

Jai Hind,

Jinesh Zaveri.