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IPC Section 498-A: Misuse

Dedicated to the Victimised Indian Families, Who are falsely threatened & Blackmailed by the Indian Daughters-In-Law & her family members, and those Victimised families who are already falsely charged under the Section 498A. Its all about False charges of Dowry Law, Domestic Violence, Alimony, Marriage and Divorce. NOTE: All articles are my personal copyright. They may be republished if the source is acknowledged and a link provided to this site. This is not an Anti-Women Blog. Read Disclaimer.

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Location: Mumbai, Maharashtra, India

Women go to the police with a complaint (may be false), but the system provides to record that as a criminal complaint and that data adds in to the National Statistics of Crime Against Women. When male goes with a genuine complaint the police at max can record a Non Cognizable offence against the women. That will never reflect in the statistics. Then how will one guage crime against men? Every 100 Suicides in India have 63 Males and 37 Females. Every 100 male suicides have 45 married males, and every 100 women suicides have 25 married Women. Married women suicides have default arrests of the inlaws under presumed dowry death. Married men suicides entitle wife for a 50% share in property. What kind of equality is this? I thank you for visiting my blog, Please visit again. And I welcome you to participate on my Blog. [indianhusbands (at-the-rate) yahoo (dot) com]. Click here for Main Page

Friday, January 14, 2011

Don’t Dump the Daughters

A PAN Card applicant in India whether a boy or a married girl has to provide his/hers fathers name as a permanent identity. The reason is simple, it is biological and cannot be SUBSTITUTED, any discrimination is human made and not natural it’s the same rule for both a male and a female.

I have been wanting to write about this since long but never got the time. Then I missed an opportunity to write about the topic when one learned Judge of Supreme court declared her daughters as LIABILITIES. I missed to blog about it as I was busy playing a daughter to my mother who is hospitalized and is still recovering, but since I had a free morning, while she is on the hospital bed I could not wait to borrow the lappi from my bro to jot this down and share my thoughts about how incorrect it is to not fix the problem and just fix the blame. It is quite imperative to treat a daughter as a human in the family. It is painful to know that a daughter is treated as a liability right from day1 and a son treated as a guard and ATM.

I have written about Husbands are human too, but I have always felt the same for daughters. Again there are combinations out here but I am conveying my message to those parents and brothers who go to any extent to dump the daughters in a marriage against her wishes. I have witnessed not one, but many distress calls where daughters have been dumped by their maiden family members into a marriage with a deadline as they want to get their daughter married who could make way for the wife of a brother. How cruel!!! thus, causing a fractured marriage. Or the other cause is the peer pressure of samaj, which is good for nothing.

Such parents who treat the daughters as liability often believe in dumping their daughters in such a way that they are free from them and get accolades from the society “samaj” for getting them married. In such forced marriages divorce from the daughter’s side becomes inevitable, such females seldom fight a case as they want to get out rather than being obsessed for the money of her Mr.Wrong. Her Parents and Brothers even dump the divorced female who post divorce is then vulnerable and desperate to any chalta purja (Tom, Dick and Harry) and then the loop of errors is endless in her life. In some cases the middle class victim daughter (divorcee) is on roads, well almost! unwilling to fight for money but seeking a parental compassion from the environment.

Ideally if we follow the trend of damage control like in 498a, then there should be severe laws to punish the parents of the daughters who force their daughters in to marriage. But the billion Rupee question is “will such decent daughters who don’t punish their inlaws would punish their parents and siblings?” No they won’t. As they are not programmed that way. Her parents are also victims of the samaj peer pressure which is non significant.

Now, rather than fixing the blames its better to fix the problems. There has to be fundamental changes in the system. A fail safe plan for daughter from her parents’ side with exclusive rights of only her should be made compulsory by the government. Such should be the share of sons also, this will stop the attitude of parasitism and would rehabilitate the social structure which is fast changing to a state of confusion.  Daughters are human too, it is her parents who discriminate, due to the social middle class structure even today. This needs to be corrected.

NCRB data suggests that the number of daughters (below age group of 14) who commit suicide are slightly more than sons of the same age group. But the parents are not punished for their attitude that causes such deaths of daughters (like in case of daughter in law deaths). Further a married daughter would definitely seek redress from her parents; siblings during loneliness, once feeling unwanted from there, only then she would commit suicide. So in such cases even daughter’s parents’ legal role has to be defined.

The potential of Indian women is not identified correctly and hence treatment and relief’s given to her are breeding only dependency and her potential remains unleashed. Today the private nursing home for cancer, where my mom underwent surgery has a 100% lady staff including the doctor and are doing such a fantastic job. I simply get frustrated and think that why do most parents disown the daughter the day that she is born? On the other hand there are parents who would not stop interfering in marriage matters causing the damage. It should be an unconditional, constructive, fail safe support.

For siblings of the same family why put the sons in a better school and daughters in vernacular schools with lesser facilities? Do not pamper them but treat them as humans. Do not call them a liability and do not have an attitude of passing it on to another family by just dumping them in to a marriage with somebody who may be her forced choice.

Do not Divorce your daughters from her maiden family. Do not disown them. Do not dump them in to a forced marriage. Do not delete her from your house to make a way for a daughter in law, give her, her due share of love, attention and humanness rather then depriving her from equal treatment.

Once this is corrected such daughters would not be forced in to marriage and would be getting equal status in the society the relief would not breed parasitism and dependency (which is the case as of now) and create more and more Kiran Bedis, Kiran Shaws and Indra Nooyis, who would work in the same arena and win gracefully with no concessions.

Live for your daughter as well, not for society. Samaj will only crib and add on to your woes but never solve the problem so dump and disown the undeserving sources that is the senseless samaj.

Do not push her out of your life, do not make her a forced daughter in law.

Accept your child at any age as your child, be it a son or daughter, don’t call her a liability and hence don’t treat her with your rejection.

Jai Mata Di,

Jinesh Zaveri.


Anonymous kv said...

Bhai, Sorry to hear about your mother. If you need help, call ...

Last line (word) in 5th para (Ideally if we ...) seems out of context, typo?

Sat Jan 15, 12:02:00 AM GMT+5:30  
Blogger Jinesh Zaveri said...

Thanks KV,

for your concern.

Mom is recovering fine.

5th para is NO TYPO. I have come across so many confused parents of the bride who are under pressure to act as per the quack advises.

Both on marriage and Post debacle. They are under pressure to prove to their immediate relatives who demand action and watch the fun. and they are mere guinea pigs.

there are parents who also know what they are doing and they torture by choice but again to prove to someone.


Sat Jan 15, 01:08:00 PM GMT+5:30  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

High time for this truth to come out. It is a fact in most cases.

Sat Jan 15, 11:32:00 PM GMT+5:30  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hello mr.jinesh i read ur blogs i would say not all men r bad nor all women r bad it depends from person to person i myself being a women think that nowadays there are many women who get married 4 the sake of money n claim that the indian law would favour them later in seeking divorce which is very wrong coz sumthing similar issuse my brother is aslo suffering from when women claim that they r not weak then y ask for sympathy. women are not cattles reared in cowsheds so stop sheding tears for sympathy sake. i agree there r men who torture their wives but not all men are like that .there r men who r not at fault y they hve to suffer unneccessarily y their family has to suffer ?

Fri Jan 21, 01:36:00 AM GMT+5:30  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I completely agree with what you have written. Some people make their daughters worthless and then realizing that these worthless daughters are becoming burdensome, dump them into marriage just to get rid of her. No matter she is not prepared for marriage, she is forced to marry someone she does not want to spend her life with.

In such a situation, daughter of such ruthless parents cannot be expected to be a good human being either and then she vents all her anger and frustration on in-laws and fights for her "rights" which she never got in her parental home.

Fri Jan 21, 01:11:00 PM GMT+5:30  
Blogger Jinesh Zaveri said...

Dear Anon,

thanks for your feedback. I agree with you. You can bring about change as a sister of a husband. if you are in mumbai then join MASHAAL - which stands for Mothers And Sisters of Husband Against Abuse of Law and do something about this cause.


Thu Feb 10, 06:43:00 PM GMT+5:30  
Blogger Jinesh Zaveri said...

Dear Misuse of Law,

thanks for understanding my observation.

Only if parents were not slaves to the illusion called 'samaj' then these things would not have happened.

There has to be radical changes in the support system in judiciary for treating kids at par and sons and daughters have to be treated at par and equally.

unfortunately some of them are not understanding this point.

Thu Feb 10, 06:46:00 PM GMT+5:30  

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