Indore: Sowry Death and Formation of “Srajan”

Husband Dies and wife gets the status of a legal heir. Wife dies and husband is jailed along with his relatives as a suspected dowry death skewing the statistics. Or more so a score settling tactic by her relatives who inturn demand money thus encashing on the opportunity.

This is because in India if the wife dies within 7 years (NCW recommends lifetime) of marriage it is presumed to be a dowry death. And the police investigations become mandatory and so does the non bailable arrests for investigation. The conviction and acquisition comes later. Plus there is no undo button for the atrocities and ignominy that the grooms family suffers. And the statistics data gets skewed royally.

Some days back I read it in TOI that 5 member family of Upadhyays in Mumbai were acquitted because of mismatch of the dying declaration and changes in the statement by the bride. As it was proven that bride had lit herself on fire in the bathroom and stated that the same act was committed by the inlaws. It was found that the door was locked from inside and inlaws tried to break it open and save the bride as the latch was broken inwards but by then the bride was burnt 90% and later succumbed after inconsistent statements. But they could not evade arrests and the holocaust.

Bharti my Guru calls such brides no less than suicide bombers who selectively bomb the innocents because of her belief and tries to herald her verdict. I would suggest there has to be a course of competency in better relationship before marriage, where debates are lost only to win the relation, and if both sides have such intention who would lose? None! Rather there would be domestic harmony.

Such deaths anyways are declared as Dowry Deaths. But there are more numbers of Sowry deaths too that often go unreported due to lack of judicial facility and perpetually overshadowed with his career. Man is often misunderstood as a machine who is only emotional with his work and commits suicide only when he is under work stress. But my experience has been different with myself and the ones that I have interacted with.

Its not that the man gets lost in his work and cares a damn about his family. My Counseling experience tell me that there are 2 possible reasons a. he is wanting a reason for not being at home and avoid the Hitler raj. And b. he is most of the time running to impress his wife (like ram ran after the suvarna mrug to fulfill sita’s wish). But unfortunately this is interpreted as not bothered for family and career centric. And to compete with this stage comes feminism. (now I get more convinced that what I once supported blindly i.e feminism is also based on false beliefs)

There are sowry deaths that are on rise these days. But, Thanks to the circular issued to the police chowkies for proper investigations before the arrests. But it’s the fear of the bang that terrifies the person, I see a pre-498a person more affected mentally than a post 498a, the best example is my father who breathed his last at the onset of this year but he had regular bouts of fear and panic too acting as a slow poison. And DV is here to paralyse ones ambition.

Similarly some people cease their life with all the fears and some succumb but if they are males the interpretation is different. On 13th June 08, Anil Sharma, an Indian husband breathed his last in Indore, he could not bear the torture of pre-498a, he was abducted to Jaipur by his inlaws and then left after threats and ill-treatment, he was so depressed that he once thought of committing suicide. But decided to muster courage and return home. Again he was affected badly by the sudden gurjar protests and was stranded on the way for days. He was penniless and somehow managed to be back in 7 days put in bits and pieces.

He was depressed and did not have a support system (was not aware of SIF) he was found hanging by the ceiling fan. MP and Indore are know to be very quite and less open. But the crime rates and local corruption is very high here. Meanwhile the upcoming SIF Group in Indore soon to be called Srajan under its NGO identity for group for harassed husbands and family has taken the initiative to morally support the family of the guy. The family has too responded well. The successful efforts of Srajan (SIF- Indore) and the support of the grooms family members let to the police registering a case on 9 family members of the bride for abetment of suicide. Anil’s sisters were happy that there is Srajan but were sad that Anil was not aware. Thanks to the indore media who bought this case into SIF’s notice.

Srajan means Reconstruction and it is once again run by guys next door. It is in its registration process, currently a growing 7 member strong team lead by Gaurav Bandi is supported by Mr. Rawal and Narendra Singh to name a few. I would urge all the MP residents to make Srajan a big success. Currently they meet every Sunday 11-1 pm at Rani Sati Gate Indore. They are expecting the families to come out openly like any other city in India and make the network as strong as possible. As Sowry Deaths are major concern too.

Gaurav can be reached on : 9329043172 and the MP Group can be joined at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/sif-MP/

These numbers are of the volunteers and they are dedicated to this movement, but they also have to feed themselves and hence if they are busy with their office work they may request you to call later.

So If you are harassed, come join Srajan and volunteer to help others and be an architect in a win win change for the future.

“IF NOT US, THEN WHO?
IF NOT NOW, THEN WHEN?”
Jinesh.