.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

IPC Section 498-A: Misuse

Dedicated to the Victimised Indian Families, Who are falsely threatened & Blackmailed by the Indian Daughters-In-Law & her family members, and those Victimised families who are already falsely charged under the Section 498A. Its all about False charges of Dowry Law, Domestic Violence, Alimony, Marriage and Divorce. NOTE: All articles are my personal copyright. They may be republished if the source is acknowledged and a link provided to this site. This is not an Anti-Women Blog. Read Disclaimer.

My Photo
Name:
Location: Mumbai, Maharashtra, India

Women go to the police with a complaint (may be false), but the system provides to record that as a criminal complaint and that data adds in to the National Statistics of Crime Against Women. When male goes with a genuine complaint the police at max can record a Non Cognizable offence against the women. That will never reflect in the statistics. Then how will one guage crime against men? Every 100 Suicides in India have 63 Males and 37 Females. Every 100 male suicides have 45 married males, and every 100 women suicides have 25 married Women. Married women suicides have default arrests of the inlaws under presumed dowry death. Married men suicides entitle wife for a 50% share in property. What kind of equality is this? I thank you for visiting my blog, Please visit again. And I welcome you to participate on my Blog. [indianhusbands (at-the-rate) yahoo (dot) com]. Click here for Main Page

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Loser

Then And Now…

A tale of a Middle class Indian marriage (based on true facts)

I
Jai was quite excited, as finally he was about to meet Abha with whom he was chatting for sooo long. They came across each other on a matrimonial website some 9 months ago. He was particularly interested in this girl as she was from a very poor family and was looking for a future as a housewife (she was working because of financial crises and she became net savvy at the workplace).

Whereas Jai’s family had been through business turmoil from past 10 years leaving him stranded in a sales job after a mediocre BA degree due to financial crunch, but the blood of a business man could secure him a position as a manager with a leading brand. Thus the status of family was restored in the society along with their repute of a principled family.

Their house too was one of the last left properties as it was in Jai’s moms name. It was a commercial property but of a 450 sq ft. it was office cum residence of the fathers dying business and elders brothers’ struggling business was operated from that prime location in Mumbai. Brother due to shortage of space was staying far with his family in Kalyan.

The family was chasing their repayments of debts. And Jai was of the right marriageable age. He got proposal in abundance but he was rejected when it came upto family crises. Keeping this in mind he had updated this girl about his condition too.

They finally met up. Abha was the good looking girl next door. She too found that die hard, hard working attitude in Jai. One of the highlights of the meeting was, She told Jai I have learnt to kill my Hunger, I have been skipping lunches, so you do not worry about my adjustments. Further I am marrying outside my biradari because my circle is burdened with Dowry.”

Jai melted on this and was weeping from within, though nothing was evident on his face, But he fell for her, he was also confident that he will give her all the happiness and she would never miss anything in life. He said “with me you do not have to adjust as I will never put you in that situation, and if need be I will skip lunches, but feed you.” Jai was also overjoyed as Abha told him that she would prefer to be a housewife since she has been working all her life till now.

They got married and it was dream wedding for the girl, as family members of Jai realizing the status of the girl and took just 11 people in the (Baraat) wedding. Abha’s father, a god fearing man, was actually quite happy as he did not expect the wedding to be so nice as their community was full of Dowry Takers and also was happy that the daughter managed to get a good groom on her own and rescued him from the burden of Dowry. He was pretty loud about this fact in his circle.

II
Jai’s parents sold the office flat and bought a very big house in outskirts of Mumbai and also repayed some of the debts immediately after Jai’s marriage anticipating a joint family with a reunion of the elder son. They were in the euphoria of getting a chance to practice their principles.

But for a girl from a small time town of MP who loved Mumbai like any other up country individual, could not resist the illusion and speed of this city, equations changed later. She suddenly started demanding to Jai that his parents will have to leave the house, she also got lured to the costly lifestyle of the city, to which Jai was not fascinated. The parents left home but had to come back as once a working girl, Abha could not manage the house alone and fell sick and Jai could not manage with work pressure.

Abha who had not tasted this freedom and pampering had lost her senses. Her demand grew on this simple family who has been living on smart money planning and savings amid their tight finances; given to understand the debts to be repaid. Abha had different problems and those were of having a flat of her own as an anniversary gift. Differences started to grow between Abha and Jai. Jai also realized that living alone and slowly having a flat on her own name was the ultimate goal of her life, her status among her sisters was also high as she was married in Mumbai as compared to the rest. The couple had verbal fights, Abha crossed limits at times and threatened to kill herself and write a suicide note with everyone’s name. With Jai’s parents back in the house now Abha wanted to go to work and she found a job too.

Jai was supporting but was worried and confused about Abha’s uncertainty, both he and Abha displayed the unforgiving tendencies since Abha picked up quarrels on petty matters not worth a bit. Meanwhile Jai discovered about lies that he was being told before marriage by Abha and he was in no forgiving mood. He discovered her love for someone whom she loved once was still fresh and was reminiscent in her talk very frequently. Her broken engagement and above all her unforgiving nature on petty senseless matters and attention seeking tendencies. And her contact with her past love who was married now with his own family, was all kept secret. Everything seemed so different now.

Finally Jai settled down with new facts and decided to sort it out and talk it out face to face with Abha. But, Abha got in to blame game, Sulking and self mutilation and more lies. Abha could not convince Jai on the frequent lies and she rather felt at loss and exposed. In fit of anger or may be to blackmail, She scratched her wrists, injured Jai who tried to rescue her. She pushed the Mother In Law and abused the sick Father in law. She was out of control. They all had to hold her to calm her down; which she later misrepresented as mass violence on her by all of them.

To avoid embarrassment, she must have lied to her parents and brothers about whatever happened. They were very furious and pledged that they would not spare Jai. In a personal meeting Jai could not bear the false charges that Abha put on him and his family members and was not convinced as to why she was behaving erratic and what was her motive behind scratching the wrist. After all attempts in vain, they mutually decided to separate. The mutually appointed middleman took over negotiations for Alimony. But Abha swore that she would not co-operate and will see to it that all of them are put behind bars.

Abha calls up Jai after 6 months of separation and threatens Jai, about Police complaint and a petition if her hefty money demand was not fulfilled. She said she knew law better and advised Jai not to debate or be smart on alimony issue. Time passed by Abha’s family never responded to the settlement offers, 2 years later middle man worked out on the divorce settlement. The threat of police and torture of blank calls, prank calls, threats, streedhan and heavy alimony demands etc had kept the family under pressure which affected the health of Jai and his parents. Finally one day a bitter and loss making divorce settlement took place with police involvement Jai and his family were shattered.

III
Jai’s performance at job was affected, he was demoted in his job, but bosses mercy spared him from being jobless. One day was on his way for a Cold sales call. He saw a beautiful charming girl in that office. He realizes it was Abha, quite changed, She was having her Full dabba of Lunch (may be her favourite alu ki sabzi or simla mirch), he quietly slips away from the scene unnoticed.

Somedays later he also saw her again in that area, carrying the bag with the brand name of nearest Gym, Jai gathers that she must be going for a workout after office hours to maintain herself by burning extra calories, from her stock of happiness. That was also her definition of high lifestyle in Mumbai. She also spoke good English now.

Jai sighed “that she got actually married to Mumbai and never to me, Now well settled here, may be married again, drained my pocket in name of alimony and this foolish 498a law, used all my contacts during divorce and now my money, where as she continued working here, showed her status as unemployed on paper, and if I tried to out smart her with these proofs then she threatened me of this logic less and false 498a, 406, 307.”

Jai, now a 33 yr old diabetic, with increasing grey hair and thinner than before, advances to a medical store for buying the costly medicine that his parents’ health demanded. Proud about the fact that he is still with his parents but was also yet to recover from the situation that the divorce episode left him financially drained and now he was skipping Lunches.

He noticed something, smiled and said to god that “Abha used to skip lunches because of her financial situation, I compassionately pledged that I would not allow Abha to skip lunches, if need be then I would skip. I am happy that she is happy and God allowed me to keep my promise.”

Because of the circumstances now, Jai had to skip lunches while Abha was burning her extra calories.

For the ones who trusted Abha’s Story labeled Jai and his family as Liars, villains and said they deserved the DEEPSHIT. Religious Jai and his family assured themselves by believing that they are the actual survivors. And the act and attitude of Abha told Jai that he was a ‘loser’ just like any other male and he helplessly realized this.

20 Comments:

Blogger Satya said...

very touching. I hope 'jai' is doing better.
I wonder how many thousand of families go through this story without telling it to others...

- Satya

Sun Jul 02, 11:36:00 PM GMT+5:30  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

He has really gone through this bad massacre of his dreams. As he has dared to bring it infront of society by this blog and as he realizes that she is living happily leaving him in rutt...it's time for Jai to realize that everyone needs to move ahead in life...and he also have to. He should not let his parents and work suffer due to all this.

Best Luck dear friend.
Bharat

Mon Jul 03, 09:01:00 AM GMT+5:30  
Blogger Rebel said...

Men often commit grave mistake by allowing the reflection of their mother onto their desired life partner. The times of our mother were different. Now women are different. In those days, women were never told to respect family values - they already knew it. And now women don't understand family values even after they are told - they think that they are being oppressed by tradition.

It is time we men realise that time changes and we should too change our perception, especially in matters of marriage. Jai decided to get married to Abha on sympathy love and invariably, men are brutally betrayed by the woman when they fall in sympathy love.

There is no family values, no tradition, no culture, no morality, no ethics, there is only money and power. There are plenty of women out there who are constantly seeking sympathy love to exploit a man's good qualities. There is 'Abha' in majority of the women.

Jai maybe a loser in the eyes of Abha and most people, but for the one sitting up there, Jai is a true man of principles. He is the winner.

Mon Jul 03, 10:01:00 AM GMT+5:30  
Anonymous Gaurav said...

Yes, this story looks familier to me. Specially the Jhoota Natak which Abha did at Jai's house to frame him, his family on false grounds and lied to her family and later she put false 498a againts those innocent people without accepting her fault.
Someting similar happened with me.
I dont know how many other families has faced such natak, trauma and still suffering just because a NAGIN came to their house and they were not able to see the real face of her.

Mon Jul 03, 01:28:00 PM GMT+5:30  
Anonymous Girish said...

Very common story. being a husband that too a caring one.. he had it coming...

Hope future husbands learn and prepare themselves well enough so that they wont have to go through this.

Mon Jul 03, 01:37:00 PM GMT+5:30  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's the future of India. We'll find every family sufferring with this Draconiann Law. Probably these Law makers will understand the severity of the law, when this happens to them. But I really suspect that it'll happen to them, as they have the power and police in their pocket. So, we need to learn to live with it.

A very touching story BTW.

Regards.
Rahul VK Khandelwal.

Mon Jul 03, 04:43:00 PM GMT+5:30  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I say, Jai is a fighter and not a loser, his wife may be thinking as he is a looser.She has lost a fortune by seperating with such a nice guy.

She may lie to jai and his family but once day she shall be answerable to allmighty and her books of accounts will always show losses.

My advice to Jai will be just to focus on his future and carrier with wife or without wife.

Jai will do good in life as its a passing phase and new phase is standing at the doorsteps with all happiness and glory.

Your friend with whom you have tea and coffe on the 3rd floor in front of cops.

Mon Jul 03, 06:55:00 PM GMT+5:30  
Blogger CruiserDeep said...

Yes Jai should not let these attempts of exploitation affect him, have a problem solving attitude and kill the problems bit by bit. Don't be emotional when the game is of toughness.

May be these are the tests god wanted us to endure since we lacked toughness to achieve what we could. So Jai should treat these as tests, with a problem-solving attitude.

Mon Jul 03, 08:37:00 PM GMT+5:30  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG does this sound so familiar because this was part of my X's plan and some of my farsighted friends got in my nearsighted face and I listened to most of it.

Which brings me to something else I saw. And this has a good bit of truth to my story and I'm sure some of yours.

This is a true story of somebody elses. See if you can relate to any of it?

When we see false allegations, they are not just perpetrated by the accusor, they also involve family and friends, who have been already brainwashed, and lied to regarding domestic violence...most of the time the male (the accused) starts HIS day off by going to work in the mornings, having a full work day, then coming home at night to his female partner and or children...she handles all the accounting, everything....HE thinks that all is well...he goes along usually for YEARS and years, while his female abuser abuses him, uses him, and or his family...and although others MAY NOTICE that he is the victim, they dismiss this as chalked up to experience, or that she is ONLY female

One day the male "wakes up" to find that all this time, he was reported to be the abuser...phone calls to friends and family, that are whispered through the line...outings, where the female reports back to her friends and family that he is abusing her or the children, while all the while, the male is totally unaware of this, and honestly thinks that things will get better...he honestly thinks that his partner will stop abusing one of these days, he honestly thinks that if he sticks if out a bit longer that things will be all hunky dory...sad for him but he has been beating on her or the kids for the majority of the relationship according to not only HER, but her witnesses that she has been reporting to all along.

This is very close of what has happened to me over the years. And it ain't over yet because the tide is shifting to the real truth.

Well this time it is somewhat true . I am not an abuser, but a yeller, and I am being agressively assertive at getting from her the things she owes my kids. It really gets to me when she cries that if I was a real man I'd let her slide. And then again she is one of those who insists that no
women should have to pay anything at all. Kind of funny that when she
left here I had just bailed out of bankruptcy which she primarily caused and I will stick the truth to her at any given time like I did a couple of nights ago.

She called to make arrangements to get one of the kids and gave me some lip so I read her some lines of her journals that I know she would remember and recognize as nothing but child abuse. She then went on to MF me and say she was going to kill me. Not only that, I got a big laugh, when she said she was leaving the country & we would never see her again or a dime of what she is ordered to pay.This from someone who
still dosn't know peanuts about taking care of herself much less anybody else because she is always clinging and using somebody else to get whatever. I'd hate to think what her abusive boyfriend would do if he read a few pages and that is why I don't do just that because by what she has already told my son and I she would probably end up in the hospital.

This also has me thinking about the old saying," What goes around, Comes around," and you can see my reasoning here. She spent all her time faking illness and talking to her friends and family on the phone to say how bad I was and lied to the cops and judges also & now she is getting the real thing happening to her and she tries to cover her embarrassment and lies so now even legal protection has gotten leary of her.

I heard that of her a while ago and then again just recently. Go figure...,

~ B.

Wed Jul 05, 02:18:00 PM GMT+5:30  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hope you are ok after the blasts, is that not the route you take also?

Mon Jul 17, 09:56:00 AM GMT+5:30  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did u survive the blasts or are you injured?

Sun Jul 23, 08:45:00 AM GMT+5:30  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did u survive the blasts or are you injured?

Sun Jul 23, 08:45:00 AM GMT+5:30  
Blogger Jinesh Zaveri said...

Dear Anonymous Friend,

To your Pure Soul,

Thanks for this concern, I am really really moved with this attention and gesture.

This month has been bad since 9th July. That day due to MMRDA road work and monsoons, a major cable fault had occured in many areas leaving phone lines dead and so was internet for 12 days. Then came the blogspot india episode. plus the backlog at the office (and i do not blog from work place). plus my health, All till yesterday to get back on track.

On bomb blast it is very interesting that there was no reason for me to not board that borivali local from andheri, at around 6.10 6.15 pm, I was at the platform but I was saved by a local goon (an angel in disguise) who posed as a new client in my office and called on my cell later after parting only to tell me not to board train coz he wanted to talk to me. I had to listen to him thinking he was a client. Finally we had a cup of tea and he kept me engaged for over 2 hrs only to ask for some money at the end(I have heard of such cases). But later I realised that if he would not have called me back then I could/would have boarded one of the train. There are such notorious guys in Andheri but this doesn't happen on a regular day.

I think God did not want me to board that train and he sent this guy. And since phone lines were dead since days (so no blogging) at home; I did not mind staying back talking with the so called client.

Once again Thanks to you for the concern and gesture and due respects. I am safe, fit and fine.

:-D

Sun Jul 23, 11:24:00 PM GMT+5:30  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cool

Ya we were worried after all you are the source of alimony to your distressed wife!

Thank not that guy, but your wife who prays that you earn well and do well...so that some day when she decides , she will get her desired alimony.

Well work good and dont loose that job

Sun Jul 23, 11:33:00 PM GMT+5:30  
Blogger Jinesh Zaveri said...

:-D,

Something told me that this would be the response.

Sure I did thank her, we all did that.

And I prayed that she be alive to enjoy every bit of that money. After all its only Money na.

One more reason to thank her. How did you think I would miss this opportunity.

Cheers.

Sun Jul 23, 11:53:00 PM GMT+5:30  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes,

we dont want husbands. the mothers can keep the sons and enjoy.

We want the money and other husband will follow automatically. and he will behave knowing that we are capaable of filing 498.

Cheers

Mon Jul 24, 12:11:00 AM GMT+5:30  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WTF man

if one has a kid then all the more better. Never give that bast**d divorce and sit happily with your own kid.

There are guys who will love you and not want to marry you still.

Live-inrelationships are in. And if separated wives have a kid n their maternal instinct is satisfied, hence the next guy feels comfy as he is not under pressure to produce more kids. All are free and happy . But fucki** husband even if he attempts to have a live-in he gets stuck up with another woman and gosh if she gets pregnant, then he has HAD IT.

He will be like a dolak.

Wed Jul 26, 08:55:00 AM GMT+5:30  
Blogger Swarup said...

We can see thier Scare face and finding very difficult to get part time husabnds in the National High way also.. as truck drivers also started to refuse them...
After ZEE News I had a dinner in a married couple's house and the wife of my friend had only one complin, How a Husabnd's story can be telecast in TV ?

Mon Aug 07, 07:35:00 PM GMT+5:30  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fck the 498 (A) and Domestic Voilence Act that an innocent husband is being harrassed and the laws mean to protect women are being used as there weapons against the husbands in an unhappy marriage. Friends, I have been a victim of this last week , I had to spend one whole week in the prison and I know that my 80 years old grandparents and father had to run around to get me a bail. God , I pray that you never spare these women and their families that take advantage of such laws

Wed Nov 08, 12:09:00 AM GMT+5:30  
Blogger Crusader said...

Well Jai is not a loser. Anyone who fights life cannot be a loser. For they say life is a question paper that no one understands.

For when I just solved all the questions of life, they said the question paper has leaked and they changed it.

Life cannot be won. It can only be fought.

Awesome presentation of one's feeling of non - achievement.

Tue Jul 01, 10:36:00 PM GMT+5:30  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home