Yeh Duniya Agar Mil bhi Jaaye to Kya Hai?
A few days a go I got a SMS from my friend that had the following message “Sometimes Small things really matter in Life than big ones… See, You can sit on a mountain but not on a pin” I Smiled but suddenly my thought process started that headed me to blog this article of mine.
The correlation in my mind went like this. Ego is as big as a mountain and it just takes ones conscience (no matter how small) to prick and puncture it just like a pin. “Conscience” that is the word and one set of people have already made a lot of fun of this word and also whenever I have talked about it. One of the early encounters of mockery with is term was when I talked about issues like virginity and celibacy; Pre Marital Sex and Extra Marital Sex etc.
Well that reminds me of
(a) The polls that Okayed Pre Marital Sex.
(b) It reminded me of the fact that women too have the right to earn their own livelihood and should be treated equal to men.
Of the two points I totally disagree the former point for either of the gender, but my disagreeing won’t change the fact made in former point, that majority favors.
And I absolutely agree the later point as far as earning opportunity to the women is considered; even Gandhiji favored that same. Not to mix up my reservations on interdependence over independence.
For better understanding on the title of this article, let us link these facts now with divorcing couple (especially childless) within hardly 1yr of marriage. [In my view, Alimony is justified for those cases i) where the wife has been a house wife through out where the life of marriage was of a very long period and (ii) there are kids etc or both the cases and in such cases if the wife is working then she too should contribute for child maintainance]
No one divorces for pleasure. Plus divorce is legal and not a taboo anymorel. It also gives an option under section 13-b where the couple did not live as human beings atleast can part as friends.
But now comes this “tradition” that the non-traditional girl (who generally defies any clichés and prototypes) would never fail to follow, this time the tradition is of “alimony(e)y” which for a change she would religiously demand. This point is based on such cases with such double standards. [Before I begin on that, I would reiterate my biggest argument and that is both in the couple or who Girls do not want to live in Interdependence, land up in a dispute. Even those girls who are not ready to compromise with values that are a hurdle to modern practices and cheap pleasures that are unhindu, are still protected by the hindu law. And my old question of this case with separate identity is still unanswered that is “How Hindu was that Marriage?”]
Now the ideal settlement should be whatever belongs to whichever party should be returned justly. But the reality is something else.
If the girl is earning, then alimony demand may be contested but that itself is a debate. Coz if one dares to debate, there comes a blind law called Section 498A. So the blackmail pressure by default is on the Husband.
But now comes the question… “If having Pre-marital Sex is ok, let me accept that (only for the sake of discussion) and ask…
That when the Girl earns or is capable of earning by virtue of qualification and experience – Accepted, then why is alimony demanded for?
The settlement includes streedhan (so called and actual), expenses incurred by the girls side during wedding, fees for her lawyer, etc etc when everything is intended to settle, then why a maintenance sum above all these?
With the option of lumpsum or ‘repaying’ (the term is explained in the next paragraph) in monthly format where the divorce is not given but the money definitely is, the best convenient option for the divorcing bride is chosen. It is all so confusing to even express with so many combinations.
"Or to talk straight in other words (for certain cases) [and keeping in mind the empowerment and pre marital and extra marital sex acceptance] is it the maintenance (the settlement) after all a commercialization of Sexual Relations that is being charged to the Husband? (that he repays)"
Where exactly are we heading? Will the conscience ever prick. They cause fear and then make the most out of it.
With such darkness and sword of uncertainty hanging, one would definitely feel “Yeh Duniya Agar Mil Bhi Jaaye to Kya Hai?”