Pati Patni aur Parents ya Police?
Post counseling I have certain standard questions that I ask to all victims, For a false 498a-ed, I do not miss asking the day of arrest as Friday (still happening). That there has to be a god motherly figure for the girl to have instigated the threat or 498a or DV in reality.
I ask my female acquaintances who are bold enough to discuss with me the state of affairs, given the fact that I am not pro feminist anymore, they tell me one thing in common and that is, they always knew that laws were there in their favor. And the boys when I ask them that were they aware of the laws? And all of them almost sound similar in replying me that had they been aware they would have never got married at the first place. The truth is most of them are Ignorant. They also say that “I never indulged in dowry etc so I thought I was safe, and all accused were guilty….etc ”
Pati Patni aur Police...
Since long I had thought of this post but could not blog, this time I finally thought that I will write as I witnessed one more case where between Pati and Patni came Police and the damage was done. Distances were created and things never got restored.
This time I have heard the girls side and my analysis as an activist is that again the law needs to blamed more than anything else. Why? Well after dispute or during dispute whenever there is a mention of the law or police the guy gets really conscious of the intentions of the girl, he may be wrong in judging, but his conviction of being victimized remains perturbed given the data of misuse and understanding of the omnipotent anti male laws, in case if he commits so called crime as per the interpretations of his wife and awareness of law. The so called winner girl protected by law lands up losing the family.
Take cases where a dispute lands up in to police in terms of a complain by the girl or a conscious consultation from the warned boy. (With either of both landing up to the chowki), the police explains the law to the guy and then comes the phase of the guy to be legally insecure. And first thing would be, he will lose all his possessiveness on his wife as that could be misinterpreted, and also mentally disown her as a side effect, thinking of his parents being vulnerable to be arrested even on a statement, he would definitely think of safeguarding himself and avoid 3rd party nuisance.
So what should be ideal, wait dear feminists I too would be concerned if my sister was in that position, but this is how it should be dealt, it should be Pati Patni and Parents, now the dispute with a modern girl is parents of the guy (refer 7 vows of hindu marriage). So it is legal to think of parents in the dispute that has blown out of proportions.
Now Execution of Pati Patni aur Parents:
Parents of both sides should be consulted. Now the parents of guy should behave as if they are girls’ parents. Parents of the bride should behave and represent the grooms case, and then just imagine the bonding. (whooh, I remember myself being confronted by 3 people during disputes and at times even 5, that is to say my other half supported by my parents and also by my brother and bhabhi if they were present and me rendered all alone but enjoying the sight of their unity, ahhh what an incentive. But alas!!!!).
For those who are not privileged enough to have their parents living with them and unfortunately if police comes in the picture, I feel there should be a constructive action by the police rather than punishment or warning, they should refer the couple to compulsive counseling sessions without arrogance rather than taking sides, so that there is no embarrassment to either of the parties at any stage. This point should be noted by the police.
Else the relation will face the fate of bears who scared brownielocks at their very site. Where as bears desired to adopt the girl but girl got scared and ran away thinking she would be harmed. Here the guys family is like brownielocks and the police are the bears who terrorise and jeoparadise the relationship. And more so if the definition of the law is examined and loopholes understood, I bet no one would get married under Indian law as told to be by so many guys and those on the side of the groom. With this the relationship falls with finally both sides losing like Humpty Dumpty, who could not be put together again after a great fall.
So it is better to have Pati Patni and Parents rather than police. Its better to have Domestic Harmony and constructive counseling rather than punishments. Isn't it?