Year on year the ratio of married men v/s married women suicides have seen an increase in the husbands’ suicides and the domination of the husbands’ suicide figures have been phenomenal and never marginal. The ratio is almost double, 33 married women commit suicide out of hundred and 67 married men (rounded figures-NCRB), yet there are media news and blogs that get comments and sympathies that speak about the 33% be it suicides or reservation and as usual men are discounted or rather forgotten as a duty.
I had realized how Indian mentality is dormant in its reactive character that leaves the pro active attitude to lag from behind as pretension of sleep leads from front. And we just discount ourselves.
A story to narrate my point:
"Once a group of 11 members of the same community went to picnic, they knew when they started that they were 11 of them as there were only 11 families in that village who had Men from that same community. They spent the whole day in playing and recreation. Later they swam to the opposite bank from a small river that divided the land where they played. After spending some good time on the opposite bank of river, they swam back as it was nearing the end of the day. Before the evening ceased they had to reach home so they winded up and started back on time. They decided to take a stock of things with which they started to ensure nothing is missing. Things were in place. They decided to count and confirm if all the friends of the community were there in the group.
One of the group man took the lead and asked everyone to stand in a line and he began to count, to his surprise the count of men was only 10 instead of 11 and 1 was missing. Another boy insisted that he would count and claimed that his counting was superior and started counting he too could reach only 10 and 11th boy was missing. All the boys took turns and realized that only 10 out of 11 boys were there and 11th was missing. They were sad and clueless. Coincidentally a passerby villager saw this group of sad kids and stopped by and inquired about the problem. He was briefed about it and he started to count and moment he counted he counted all the 11. And he told the mistake of the boys that every time they were counted they forgot to count themselves and hence missed out on the 11th man.
The boys realized the mistake and went home happily"
Similarly Indian Husbands at large either forget to count themselves or consider it as a crime to talk about their rights. As they feel the responsibility that they are burdened with makes them macho. And only women cannot be responsible and only they have a say in fighting for a right.
I realized the Indian male’s plight when I met another rigid friend of mine in the train who changed his attitude the moment he realized that I am in a marital mess, instead of just being normal he vanished in the crowd as if he was telling me “Bro well you are ALONE, and you need to be left alone”. I have seen this attitude in many desperate new comers in the 498a weekly guidance meets who want us to ‘now shake the world’ just because now they are affected. Else who cared till date. Lucky I never under estimated the boy’s side but definitely stopped supporting feminists once I realized the status of law and Indian men.
This mental attitude is injurious to health as Indian men are resembling the characters of the above story. They often discount themselves in all the sectors. The MP’s who hailed the historic speech on passing of the so called historic women’s reservation bill too missed it and the junta men who too do not bother of their rights. Such people can only be ruled.
But Its time that we realize that Husbands too are a vote bank and a significant part of the ecosystem of the society. Only then the world and the politicians can be expected to realize that Husbands too are a potential vote bank not just them but their mothers and sisters and other family members who are vulnerable to the draconian wife centric laws that are heavily misused.
People do not realize that
1. The proceedings against husband are run on the tax money contributed by 82% male fraternity who is reduced to an ATM for unscrupulous wives.
2. Tax money is used to fund the lawyer of the litigant wife who is filing a false case against the husband.
3. State fights the false criminal case directly against the Husband on behalf of the wife.
4. Dowry deaths are presumed and stats are manufactured by arresting the in laws.
5. Hefty sums of Alimony are negotiated in pre 498a and post 498a to give or take divorce.
6. ‘No amendments for 498a misuse’ is justified with dowry deaths which already has a separate section 304b. (Even Chidambaram has justified. He is fooled by feminist because in his letter to the states he has clearly shown concern about 498a misuse. But while answering against the misuse he has taken stand on the dowry deaths.)
7. People also do not realize that Husband do not have a machinery to file FIR against wife.
8. That there are no suo motu punishments for the misuse of law to the wife and some jerks advice husbands to file a defamation after the long exhausting emotional, mental, financial and legal battle that takes the toll of the family socially.
9. People forget that MEN too are the citizens of the country belonging to human race.
10. Husbands are so deeply scripted to discount themselves hence they consider it as a crime to count upon themselves.
11. Women Laws are actually wife centric and they torture the mothers and sisters of husbands as who are women too but not as per law.
12. Animals have a ministry for welfare, husbands yet to have one.
13. Men fund Government by paying 82% of taxes yet all laws are against MEN and his biological relatives.
14.etc etc etc….
Its Time we take us seriously, only then we can expect others to take this VOTE BANK seriously. Time we have Ministry for MEN. Only then we can straighten these issues out.
Time we count ourselves.
Time we tell the system that we are present too and get our attendance marked.