Contradictions Galore

I fininshed reading one of my favorite books, 7 Habits of Highly effective people by Stephen Covey Some 2 years back.

As per the instructions in the book, I started sharing the text with my other half by reading it aloud, for me it was like a prelude to a foreplay ;). But according to my other half- the perception problem of mine over took me everytime I tried reading the book aloud. She used to tell me “Bewakuf, You think I do not know all these? Women today are capable of standing on their own Feet”

Well, now I can arguably say that these thinkers do not fit in to covey’s style too, they ridicule every time they some across such school of thought.

Covey Talked 4 Situations (1) Win:Win (2) Win:Lose (3) Lose:Win (4) Lose:Lose

A prologue to this were explained by covey in 3 situations
A) Dependence B) Independence C) Interdependence

A & B are rated below par by Covey. And situation C is Ideal to be highly successful in life.

Our Shastras also say this too, that the departments of life are indoors and outdoors. Outdoors are taken care by the man and Indoors by the wife. But this basic, is challenged in the modern world and hence success formula of a happy marriage is falling apart. Now, women may work, and I am not denying (it is the essence of the nation according to gandhi- and according to me if it is sans 498A rule:D) . Only thing is the perception should be well balanced by both the parties.

Financial independence is seen as success by women, but this independence soon gets on their head in a relationship where the relationship rips apart suddenly. Now in some cases the women adopt to situation A that is of dependence. They would now act to be dependent in front of their ex-husbands and thus misuse the alimony law.Why? I really do not know. The country where great women like Jijabai, Rani Laxmibai and Indira Gandhi were born, why are we getting in to a pseudo shell of abla dependence?

I come from a family, that once blindly supported Indiraji and Rajivji. But, now Indira Gandhi will always be remembered by me as the Mother of the Infamous IPC Section 498A. Indiraji had a famous quote that talked about Win:Win That was

“You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.” (quote of the week)

then why did she encourage such poorly drafted Law with loopholes and no back up plan for protection of victims?

This mantra of shaking hands have been a super hit in my other departments of life. But in marriage department, many sons of Indiraji’s Indian soil have been a doom because of the loopholes. That does not support the very saying of Indiraji.

Young Indiraji, proudly burnt her doll, because it was not an Indian make. Then why are we adopting unsuccessful western formulas while in wedlock like financial independence over total interdependence (which is successful and ancient) and later after separation the women acts dependent sitting at home? Infact she should be happy then that she is independent and continue working.

Views Invited,

Jinesh Zaveri.

Sukh Ke Sab Saathi

Sukh Ke Sab Saathi, Dukh mein na Koi

When the Indian husbands get their pay cheque it comes with a TDS. The govt is awake to deduct the tax at source. But when it comes to the exploitation by the wives govt does nothing but give law that are wife user friendly.

When the Indian Husbands get their pay cheque they are expected to give their wives something irrespective of her attitude towards her responsibility. When they are separated they are also supposed to give the alimony to the wife.

(on a lighter note Like some friends share Males are also supposed to give orgasm to the wife. Give Give Give and take nothing but the burden. What is the Government doing?)

But...Seriously, Now with the latest from NCW (targetting the NRI this time)

http://moia.gov.in/showinfo1.asp?linkid=131
anyone nuetral would say "bus khane ko hi baithe hai."

But, I am sure they are digging their own grave. As because of misuse of such
law too like 498A the NRI’s and the wanna be NRI’s would never marry and Indian Girl with Indian Citizenship. They are closing doors for the Indian women to marry abroad. The good girls would suffer too because of this.

With all this My dad quotes Micheal Jackson and that is “All I wanna say is that they don’t really care about us”

While I am humming another bitter fact on the attitude of the Indian Government and the Indian Brides towards the Indian Husbands and their families and that is “Sukh Ke Sab Saathi, Dukh Mein Na Koi”

“Mere Ram Mere Ram, Ek tu hi bas Saancha Duja na Koi.”

Jinesh Zaveri.
SIF - Mumbai

Marital Rape

They say opposites attract, and then they get married.

Moreover, Girls could cry it out and gain attention. Guys know only how to laugh it out on themselves, and get reduced to a laughing stock in spite of all the pain which only they know. That is why inspite of so much of berating and 'badnami' still we guys are surviving since centuries.

Here, I would like to share with you all, my chat with my good phono-friend, who had called up some days ago to say hi. His name is Akhil and we were talking about the ridiculous aftermath of Marital Rape.

We busted out into laughter when we concluded that we will have to maintain a Sex Log Journal for having sex with our partners in future. And every time take an undertaking before having sex that the indulgence was voluntary and not forced, if possible take a signature of witnesses. Just in case if your wife decides to lie the log book with signature and undertaking would come to rescue. This will avoid the misuse of the law.

I feel the safety level of operation is better with the contract workers. At least a dispute may be forcible under a law of contract and not stories said by a good looking liar. But again who wants to go to them, I don't and I won't. And with such creatures on the other hand who have tempting laws by their side one should rather become a Sanyasi.

Jokes, :D I also now realise that in some western movies (it must be because of laws) that I see characters having sex in their houses but with open curtains accessible to peeping toms. Now I feel it makes sense in those countries where marital rape is enforceble, may be you never know which witness may come to your rescue. :D

Why have so much of pampering under law? Rather have all of them educated in the right sense instead of such jolting aftermaths.

So, What do you feel?

Please comment.

Jinesh Zaveri.

My Dear Blog...

My Dear Blog,

I am a Guy, and I should not cry. But, then, I too have a heart that melts and I also have parents and siblings. Our Hearts Beat for each other. A girl can cry with a right to do so. Where as a guy like me is at times unable to talk even. And hence I am confessing it to you.

You too are doing a fine job for me and my victim brothers, You are my anti-depressiant. Somedays back You got me connected to another victim of 498A misuse. And I read his story, he has loved his wife so madly but in turn has been harrassed. The guy was at his wits end. He had to go to jail for no reason. Just because the girl was angry on certain differences and went to the police with some vengence and lies, and they put Sections 498A and later 406 and him and his family.

When I read his pain, and his attitude towards marriage, I thought I was reading my story. I counseled him and he was already feeling better to talk to someone sailing in a same boat. The difference was he was already 498A-ed. I was feeling happy that both of us (You(blog) and me) are able to help someone. Like other brothers of ours. It was already 40 mins of talk but he wanted to go on, I know why.

But after sometime came my breaking point. I got a call on my cell from Victims father. His tone explained his helplessness. His words spelled anxiety and insecurity. And I thought I was talking to my dad. I thought I was on verge of tears, but I realised that my eyes were already brimming. I was travelling in the train. People noticed my state and I quickly cut the talk short by telling that I cannot hear him as the network was weak. Later in the evening We spoke to each other (that is sometime back) and I could not advise him properly as I too got touched with his helplessness and again wanted to cut short, they were all confused as they too loved the D-I-L but she gave trouble, and closed all the doors for herself. I had to give him someone else's number to avoid me breaking down.

Now I am writing this to you Dear Blog, while I take this liberty for bursting out because my heart beats for my old parents of my country who are unnecessarily charged. Right now, My dad is watching me being touched and is just telling me by that helpless look that

Son, thing will be fine with all of us, I hope you are fine do not worry
about me and mummy. We are okay, if you are.

We can't even hug Its all such a guy thing. And so is my mom telling me with her ever smiling face that hides her pain. (Who never even opened her mouth when my X used to stare and bark at her) She reminds me of Jesus and Lord Mahavir who had forgiven the cruisifies and pain givers with compassion.

She says that they are doing their noble jobs by testing us and pouring atrocities on us in troubled times, thus helping us wipe our bad karmas. So you keep on doing your good job with compassion.

I May have Bursted out, but I am not Broken Down,
Trust God, Trust Time.

With My Chin Up.
Positively,

Jinesh Zaveri.

K K K Kiran...Ji

I still can't say that I was a die hard fan of Kiran Bedi. I am still trying to get over the news.

Once, In college during a personality contest I was asked by a judge “How would you propose to your Crush?” and I replied “I Love You K K K K Kiran(...pause) Bedi”. And the audience roared with a big hand of appreciation. My honest confession not only gave me a 1st runner up medal but also made me proud of my liking towards Kiran Bedi.

Further, When my friends use to "chadhao" me to be a Pete Sampras look alike, I too used to get carried away. When I learnt that Kiran Bedi fancies Pete as her dream date (on Rendezvous with Simi) I had my collar up.

But then suddenly I suspect that Kiran Bedi is becoming a blind feminist too and taking a walk with femilitants alongside. On this, I argued that no it can’t be true, I said I am having a bad dream. I asked Gorky, Swarup, D Souza, Deep, Kavi, Mihir, Satya, Peter, Bharat, Sachit, Wasif, Vinayak, RK, Rajesh, Sabahat and others that "tell me that its not true, Oh god I am dreaming". They all were looking sad as my fanship for Kiranji was in jeopardy, most of them ostensibly shared my pain too.

Suddenly Bharti Pinched me and I realized that I am awake and not dreaming. I was then showed the following link from The Hindu

Which read the following:

Court summons Kiran Bedi
NEW DELHI: A Delhi court has directed senior IPS officer Kiran Bedi to appear before it in person to explain an ``unauthorised'' summons allegedly issued by an NGO headed by her against six persons accused of domestic violence.
Additional Sessions Judge S C Rajan has summoned Bedi on October 22 to explain whether `Navjyoti', an NGO run by Delhi Police Foundation, of which she is founder-general secretary, had the power to issue such an order which also allegedly contained ``threatening language'' against the accused persons.
The direction came on a complaint filed by one Paras Khatri against the NGO which had allegedly threatened him and his family of ``action'' if they did not appear before it to respond to charges of cruelty levelled against them by Khatri's wife.
``If you do not appear before us within a day we will be forced to take action against you,'' the notice dated October 3, 2005, issued on the letter head of the NGO bearing the name of Bedi, presently the Director General of Home Guard, said.
Terming the notice as ``illegal and arbitrary'', counsel for the complainant B S Rana told the court that the NGO was not competent to issue such a notice and could only hold counselling sessions to resolve matrimonial disputes.
He said such steps can only be taken by Crime Against Women Cell if attempts towards reconciliation fail. - PTI
© Copyright 2000 - 2005 The Hindu

Tell me Kiranji what happened? Why this? You've let a Victim Down. You’ve not only hurted my sentiments as an admirer, but also as a victim.

(Now, Once) Your Die Hard Admirer,

Jinesh Zaveri.

Through My Naked Eyes

I saw this with my naked eyes and I am getting verbally and emotionally naked when I say this. Just to tell those people existing around the world, that India is not what they are thinking, from sitting inside a well that to from distance afar. Welcome to India the ocean.

This Blogcast is based on My True feelings over Facts. It was Friday morning 14th October 2005 and I was at Andheri Station on platform no.3, and suddenly I felt, I saw India Shining. But then there was a ‘Shining’ but ‘No India’. That thing was something else which caught my attention. Well, to tell you, it was a slim plastic bra strap of the transparent kinds, telling me how transparent otherwise that charming lady was (of ostensible good social rank [like mine- ahem]) who was wearing it and calling attention.

Nope wait till I describe further, before you start to imagine yourself. The strap that was running down was suddenly covered with a black T Collared top. With no sleeves and shoulders. (Some what similar to the T bottom of brazilian bikini). The jeans were also explaining the silhouette as intended by the wearer.

But I did not realize all this then. I suddenly found my hand reaching my shirt to un-button it (out of reflex gesture). For a moment I forgot that what I am seeing is correct and I got in to my wonderland like Alice, where I felt like Mohandas Gandhi. Who pledged his clothes to a poverty stuck lady in her bare minimum because of her condition. But then, suddenly, the loud announcement for the train brought my attention to the real world that told me,

“No Jinesh, You are not Mohandas; She is not the Indian helpless woman trying to hide her body; (remember the famous shot in Gandhi? Where bapu pledges his clothes because his junta was poverty stuck) and this is not Champaran of 1917, welcome to 2005, Andheri Station, Platform No.3.”

I realized, that I am seeing bare naked shoulders, hands and some extended flesh, intended to flaunt. And, that this lady was naked by choice and 'may be' another abla by voice. There was no need for me to shed my shirt and offer her to cover herself. Suddenly realising this I busted out into a controlled smile.

The system is again caught pretending sleep and is based on confused figures and facts. Where just last week India featured at number 2 in world’s Oomp List (not to forget, gorgeous and bold Ms.Universe and Ms.World on one end), it still arguably features at Number 1 in misuse of infamous loops in system on the other hand projecting the same lady junta as helpless.

As a gesture of sacrifice for his people, Gandhiji proudly pledged his clothes to a bare minimum. Churchill infamously called him “Naked Fakir”. What would he call 'these ablas' urr I mean 'these Indian women' who enjoy the abla status (sans strength and helpless) by law and even internationally by some so called feminists.

These can flaunt and also file a 498A too on their husbands and his family for no reason and apply the Domestic Violence Bill even. The basis of very bill is their wrongly percieved condition because of patriarchy and blah blah blah.

Ps: So feminists you would attack me by telling "get modern dude things have changed in last 20-25 years since and after we were born?"
True! then why can’t we have the courage to change the loop holed 498A law, into a foolproof one, which is existing in as-is-where-is condition since past 22 years now?

Jinesh Zaveri.
SIF Activist - Mumbai.

Aim Apparatus and Procedure

We need YOUR Help in Awareness to COMBAT this dirty Modus Operandi.

India the largest democracy is facing threat from the misuse of the loopholed laws. We need your attention and help for awareness of the same. We are hopeful that together our efforts will compel the government of India to take necessary actions for Amendments in the sections that facilitate legal terrorism and crime. How does it happen?

Here is the Modus Operandi (Estd. in 1983-84)

Aim: Making Easy Money with Vengeance.

Apparatus: Lies, Crocodile tears, You should be an Indian bride or atleast associated with one, you also need one Indian Groom with no bad track record and sound income with a very decent family, and finally the IPC Section 498A.

Procedure:

• They Get Married with the Indian groom
• They Get Maximum Investments in their name, and in the name of your husband.
• They Get the Husband and his family henpecked with feminine characteristics (Stree Charitra)
• If they disobey then the bride threaten them with Section 498A.
• If they Ignore, then bride just goes to the police with lies and crocodile tears. (its as easy for her to get the support as saying Lights, Camera and Action) Faking about the dowry demands and atrocities done by the inlaws.
• Section 498A is now triggered and all those nominated in this disgraced ride get a run for the money. Because if applied it is non compoundable and non bailable.
• The groom side now comes to the table to negotiate with the bride for an out of court settlement for ransom for no fault of their in case of divorce.
• Or more unfortunate people have to accept the bride with bitter atrocities for life to avoid facing music without divorcing her and remain in a pre498A stage forever.
• They generally settle down for a ransom amount else they are left with no option but to face a Rigorous Imprisonment for 3 years irrespective of age, gender etc.
• The burden of proof is never on the accuser and neither a penalty to the bride and her family by default for misleading the Judicial system and police.

There is not just one case in this democratic land but aplenty of them. But the Govt. is pretending sleep for any amendments. At least you should not be taken aback by lack of knowledge like most of us as ignorance is not an excuse.

Conclusion: Misuse of Sections 498A, Victimisation of innocents is in abundance and the money of an honest hardworking indian is siphoned out to such Bad Daughters in Law and her family members and Corrupt Lawyers all in the name of helpless women's welfare. There are plenty of such misused cases with enough evidence but there is too little done as the janta has taken this for granted.

Result: Either the Husbands Family is Henpecked or Handcuffed.

We too once thought this will never happen to us, as we are not criminals. But the vulnerability and loopholes were not known to us. This may happen to you too. Watch out.

You can help us by spreading the word.

Jinesh Zaveri.
SIF Activist Mumbai

Boo-boo to bullying

I support Gaurav Sabnis and Rashmi Bansal.

The Indian Version of Mask on Cartoon Network is called Sachin Sabnis well Our Gaurav seems to be no different. The hindi verson of Mask was called Zero se Hero and Gaurav is indeed one.

For Rashmi and Gaurav I would quote Mahatma (as usual)
"An error does not become truth by reason of multiplied propagation, nor does truth become error because nobody sees it"

All you got to be saying is ROK sako to Rok lo and Keep rocking with your work.

Also visit desipundit for details.

Truth would Triumph.

Jinesh Zaveri.

Virgin for my Wife

Okay Humdingers,

We were one of those proud guys who were "Virgins for their Wife". But the real truth is laid bare once again by the India Today's Article on Sex and single woman, this time in Tamil Issue. Once again raising the question on the innocent status of women. Refer Hum Kisi se Kam nahin for previous details.

Again this time Quoting was Khusboo on sex, the actress who enjoys the status of a temple dedicated to her by her fans. But the shocking link provided below tells all about what makes her fall in this peril of contradiction, basically her comment that underlines the hidden attitude in women.

I used to proudly tell my friends on conscience, that "If you sleep with a girl out of a wed lock, you never know that your destined partner may be one of them sleeping with one of those but not you. And hence remember there is someone somewhere destined for you, waiting for you. You can't cheat on him/her at any point of time inyour life, and hence being a virgin for wife is a good virtue and also religious." Now the same should apply for all the girls too.

The other way of putting this is if males are correctly criticised for being chalu then at the same time they are able to complete the equation only with the help of a girl. Are we missing out on this fact or is the other lobby pretending to sleep on this issue, of a girl equally responsible for the act of sex. And as per the hindu scriptures, having sex with a person outof wedlock is a sin committed by a human of the lower most hell and that is 7th Hell.

With this I would like to again dedicate Gandhi's quote on Pleasure without conscience as the quote of the week for this August month of October.

the fact stinks (Booo in hindi) that is when Khusboo states "No educated man today would expect his wife to be a virgin." (click here for the shocking article) sad....but true. Proud Virgin Males to their Wives like us may get a shock of their life, with such a statement from Khusboo,

But what do we say about these ladies who believe in pleasure without conscience wohi ke "Aap to kissi ke kam nahi"

Amen,

Jinesh Zaveri.

Bapu Said

Dear All,

Bapu has always influenced me.

On the 136th Birth anniversary of Gandhiji on 2nd October 2005, some things on certain fronts remain deficient. But the answers lie in the truth which bapu used to flaunt.

Gandhiji's lesser known quote is my favourite that I have also kept it in my email signature. This always humbles me down and why me it should humble down even the Super of the Powers. The quote goes as...

“A devotee of truth may not do anything in deference to convention. He must always hold himself open to correction, and whenever he discovers himself to be wrong he must confess it all costs and atone for it.”

There are so many wrongs encouraged in the name of the law. We are coming across the same concerns again and again, and lots have been done to counter it but still we are facing an uphill climb. But these people are not correcting themselves why?

To name a few...

1. The issues raised by Swarup in his article about adultery committed by a wife is yet unanswered, as mihir too raised this question some days back. Read http://www.indiatalking.com/blog/swarup/1325/

2. The legal age for a "Male to have sex is 18"but to get married is 21. This issue needs to be addressed too as by this loop hole to whom is government trying to encourage?

3. The Gross Misuse of 498A is not unknown, with so much of evidence around us, also aired openly with proofs on programme like Andha Kanoon on Zee News and other medias. When termed as Legal Terrorism by the Supreme Court, yet there is nothing done. We get a feeling that one must wake up. for details read http://www.saveindianfamily.org/blogs/2005/07/22/sc-legal-terrorism/

4. The show by Karan Thapar Interviewing Indira Jaisingh where the DV bill was clearly proven to be poorly drafted and Indira Jaising was unable to justify, alas but the bill was already passed. read for details. http://www.saveindianfamily.org/blogs/2005/09/28/karan-thapar-criticises-dvbill/

We can go on and on and on.... on the loop holes and we know that laws are made for sitas but surpanakhas are encashing and we cannot do anything about it. (Read http://indianhusbands.blogspot.com/2005/08/498a-made-for-sita-but-surpanakhas-are.html)

We all out of a reflex-gesture ask “What is government doing?” I asked this several times and did not get an answer till…

Till I read another lesser known quote of Gandhiji again in his autobiography, it goes like this...

“You can wake a man only if he is really asleep; no effort that you may make will produce any effect upon him if he is merely pretending sleep.”

And I dedicate this as the 498A quote for the week. visit
http://wellquoted.blogspot.com/2005/10/mahatma-gandhi.html

And I Think we all get the answer in this quote.

They are just pretending sleep because it is an intended loophole with a vested interest. If at all it were to perceive this as a loop hole, they would have amended it like TADA or POTA. But due to some hidden agenda they are pretending sleep.

But, By the way what could be that Hidden Agenda ?

Any Clue? Please Comment.

Missing Bapu...

Jinesh Zaveri.