Introducing Rachna

Ladies and Gentleman,

Till date I have been blogging to vent my frustration out. But, for a change, I have immense pleasure in blogging this 27th post of mine today on 27th Day of November 2005.

I am Proud to Introduce my New Co-blogger Rachna. She will blog with me on our new blog strong2gether (Opposite but Equal). She is the case no. 3 Sita. Her attitude towards gender-bias is similar of the character played by Kareena Kapoor in 'Aitraaz'. She is the Shocked Indian Women who hates Sunita and her friends. She was the first one to inform me about the Norway Rape case News.

We met on this blog some 27 days back and are since then discussing our views on gender bias perception in society. I thank her to have accepted my invitation to blog as we decided to blog our views together. She has wonderfully coined the name of the blog as strong2gether.

I wish, she gets a good partner for her life. And I welcome her to blog for the victim Indian Husbands and his families. And be a feather in the Cap.

I would also like to thank my blog to have introduced to me, such a nice human being.

God Bless you Rachna.

(click here to visit our blog) and our 1st article on Equality of Pain

Compassionately,

Jinesh Zaveri.

Freedom of Speech, eh?

Mr. Chidambaram called it Freedom of speech on Khushboo issue. In other words, license to speak.

My question is why is no one talking of “Responsibility” in freedom? In other words if I have a license to posses a gun does that mean I can shoot anyone?

I recognize the very vigilance of our country, in once taking away voting rights of a supremo for 6 years, because he made some comments that were provocative according to a small faction of people and the ban was successfully imposed. Then why spare and pretend sleep when the comment is having a scope of misinterpretation and misleading a young generation which is still in a fragile state of mind on topic like sex.

Also as a hindu, I would urge those boys/girls who follow the 'okay attitude' on pre-marital sex, be deprived of a Saptpadi Marriage and also the hindu marriage act; as the girls are violating the 7th Vow from saptpadi point of view. Here she confesses to the groom that she is chaste and has never committed any such sin; she admits to the groom with Lord Vishnu as the witness. And similarly the boy promises the girl in his 2nd Vow. Also the etiquettes of 'Ek Patni Vrat' of Ram Rajya cannot be forgotten by the boys.

Okay, if this is what freedom of speech is, then look what happens when they talk with freedom and without responsibility. (Right click-new window)

1. Daughter falsly accuses father rape at Bhayander (near Mumbai) Mid-day Link

2. Mom Forces Daughter to accuse father of False Rape Charges, to settle her personal scores. TOI Link Supreme court was fooled by this lady when she challenged the the innocence of her husband as declared by High Court. and

3. the Khushboo Controversy

all of the above proves that they are not ablas as perceived by texts.

Sania Mirza is an excellent example of the impact of such statements on the minds of youth. She first got influenced of Okay Attitude and later, Khuda came to her rescue as 'Insha Allah' good sense prevailed. She is not at fault at this age is such that it causes confusion and loss of direction on values if let loose.

This is what I am trying to stress as far as this topic is concerned. That the generation of this age should not wrongly feel that they are missing out on it by restraining.

While other political parties are busy supporting Khusboo with personal agendas, This blog would never support her on this. This proves that the reality is something else and the law is not recognizing it. This also raises a point that with so much of misuse of facilities (498A) to women why is law not equal having a plan for punishing the misusers? Why women are escaping adultery charges and why there is no 498B?

May be because these people will lose... the freedom of speech? Freedom to lie? And freedom to lure a votebank who falsy admits to the Emporers New Clothes would be lost.

As of now, These are my last words on this issue. But you may feel free to comment.

Arrrgh,

Jinesh Zaveri.

Oh My God!!!

Amid all the confusion on NDTV’s Sunday talk show with host Pankaj Pachauri, We (Me and my parents) were slapping our foreheads on stupidity perceived as smartness at large who think supporting pre-marital sex is all about sanity. "Oh my God!!! Where art thou?"

I was educated timely by my father and elder brother on sex, loyalty to your spouse and importance of virginity. And we used to discuss on etiquettes for fidelity which generally parents shy away from and which was misunderstood by the audience as “etiquettes of sex” at large in the talk show (you know what I mean?). Most of them were sailing with the wind under mob psychology and giving timely fillers of claps identifying certain irresponsible lines as statements.

I have always been on the opposite side on opinions with incarnate vengeance, for the following people on talk shows

1. Smt. Girija Vyas on 498A and anti male attitude (coz I am a pre 498a victim)

2. Father Dominic Emanuel on his Anti-Hindu views (according to me) coz I am a Hindu, and I like my religion.

But this time I couldn’t help but agree in congruency with them on NOT having pre-marital sex, practicing fidelity and being a virgin for your spouse.

Sex is enjoyment but enjoyment is not all about sex.

To all those who support pre and extra marital sex: Would you favor your mother, sister, wife, Bhabhi, daughter to sleep with some 4-5 people other than your father, Jijaji (bro-in-law), You, or your brother, son-in-law respectively? At the same time would you like your Father, Jijaji or Your brother, son-in-law sleeping with someone else other than your Mother, Sister or Bhabhi, daughter respectively?

I am proudly with my religion on this. All that I would like to say is if you want to sleep with more than one partner(s) then go ahead. I am not forcing you to follow my pattern so do you, do your job mind your business. And at the same time, do not justify your stand in public like Khushbu, that would put our new generation on an identified “outline” by the educated (not just literate) middle class, some justify with conviction and some with guilty intrigue, but why drag a Theosopher? Wanna smoke, eat Gutka? to chup chap khao na, but it is injurious to health and hence do not mislead and kill others in process of advocating your ill habits.

To Khusboo and Condom companies: Rather then spending energies on calling usage of contraceptives as sex education why can’t we spread awareness on fidelity, and virginity. I intend to educate all 'my' new generation on sex and the content would NOT encourage having safe sex with a stranger but It would be on values of Fidelity and Virginity. Sex education is one thing and Code of Conduct is another. These need to be thaught. Else our kids would be at mercy of the quacks, who pose as sex pundits, none other than their peers; who posses the ever dangerous "Semi Knowledge". So many marriages would be saved if Fidelity is understood and practised properly. (Relevant article) Right click to open in new window and continue reading this article

On NDTV I also saw Ranjana Kumari on statistics, Please do research on misuse of 498A it is a better topic. My message to others: Infidelity is as old as mountain and hills but so is Fidelity, so do not enforce and mix statistics with “modern zamana” which is arguably understood as a trend but not a fact. Take examples of the poll before election. Or the projected cricket scores. If we take the trend of success on statistics, then have never been accurate or close to accurate. In other words, taboos do not become legal by help of statistics, simply because the sample trend favours it in majority.

I am not at all a pro women lobbyist, but, a pro male blogger on marriage issues, yet, as a humanist, I would like to extend my support to those virgin girls who prefer a Virgin Husband. And they must rightly do so. And those unfortunate under divorce(d) or widow(er) I would say keep your loyalty intact for your next partner too and expect the same. (will elaborate separately someother time)

Pankaj got an uninvestigated applause for quoting a renowned politician who said that I may be bachelor but not celibate. Fact is : We are talking about pre and post marital sex and not sex for singles by choice. There is no logic to justify anything on this at all. Further on AIDS: It is not choosy in spreading with only post extra maritial sex.

And Pankaj (no hard feelings) but a Chappel coach of media would do a dada on you as far as this talk show is concerned. And myself personally, I would tell you that you should handle such sensitive topics ‘neutrally’, else it may harm the new generation including our kids. Such opinionating by a host is okay in a blog and not a talk show. You all have the liberty to change your opinion, for truth. Read below...

“A devotee of truth may not do anything in deference to convention. He must always hold himself open to correction, and whenever he discovers himself to be wrong he must confess it all costs and atone for it.” - Mahatma Gandhi

Grrrrr,

Jinesh Zaveri.

Alimony: A ticket to ride

Lucknow: Wife ordered to pay maintenance to Husband. (Pssst, she had also filed a case for dowry demand against her husband)

While this comes in as a slap to feminists, it leaves the humanist with some points to ponder with.

That is, is the concept maintenance really justified? Or does it encourage free lunches, giving a free ticket to ride. Genuinly troubled spouses actually want to quit the relation unconditionally. Such cases leave the crook wives with fear on their thinking caps.

Though I was confused and divided on the maintenance to the husbands’ issue. But I feel this as a right time to talk about alimony and maintenance that I have never much talked about. As the attitude of acquiring, demanding, begging is really encouraged by the law in the name of women welfare, but the real victims are not interested, while the crooks encash. Why can’t we look at both the genders equally? By demanding the women generally belittle themselves on one hand then why do they keep on stressing on the other hand that they are stronger. Contradictions Galore.

It is really haunting when your ambitions are killed by a parasite (in the name of separated spouse) who eats up a part of your monthly income {I am not talking of TDS ;)}, but of the alimony which is equally taxing. It means for a certain days of the month you work for your government. And certain days of your month goes to working for the alimony amount for the parasite waiting at the door step to be fed. It all sounds like a grown up dependent child, good for nothing.

It is haunting when you have to pledge some amount every month for the person who has never contributed any good to you, was demanding when together and is demanding when separated, you feel stuck.

The counselor rightly told me when I asked her about the logic for alimony amount. She said “Consider it as an amount pledged to nuisance Value, for the nuisance caused by your spouse.”

In my mumbaiya language I would call it as a monthly “hafta” to the notorious, to keep them at bay. Johny Lever’s Joke, would be apt here, that when a child cries give a nipple in the mouth of the child so that the child shuts up. Crude!!!! but apt.

This case makes my mind and heart conflict with each other. Happy and angry, for both Husband and Wife. Mind on one occasion says this case will open the eyes of the crook ladies; those who are overconfident on the women-favoring-laws, who simply follow the lawyers’ encouraging and misleading advice that actually has a vested interest of the lawyer. They will now think twice before taking steps as this incident will assure, that there may be backfiring.

On other occasions the wife will think twice before joining a job too, this practice anyway is in abundance even now. They want to work when in wedlock and that leads to disputes and divorce and then they want alimony. In such stages, they do work but they take up jobs with hard cash and no bank transactions. E.g tuition, counter sales at a shop, etc. the husband goes berserk in proving her earning status. It takes a good judge to conclude that the wife is capable of earning and the court has no responsibility to acknowledge the laziness of wife.

Heart says why there should be a money settlement in lieu. Will it heal the wound? And what is the reference table for that? All absurd. Why should court encourage such absurd and abstract laws of alimony and maintenance?

Wait, I am not through, Maintenance has to be given for the kids and that to by both parents. The savings in the name of the kids has to be contributed by both parties. Till they grow up. And it should be mandatory for both the spouses to work if they are divorcing, atleast that will keep some of the families intact. But in case of couple without child, it is ridiculous for the law to go on fighting and safeguarding for the good for nothing spouse.

My Heart also berates the spouse who demands. Nothing is appropriate if it is no win win in the right sense. It is okay, upto giving the litigation expenses to the spouse who is miserably unemployed, and against whom the case has been filed. Again everything is case to case. But overall maintenance to childless and healthy spouse is a law that encourages giving a free ticket to ride.

Can anyone tell me “why life sucks and why marriage sucks and why is it all about money?”

Perplexed,

Jinesh Zaveri.

Link to the news.

Other blogs blogging about us

Dear Family Members of SIF,

While I was regularly surfing I came across this.

Our plights have been on the Other blogs and now our blogs are also listed there.

Though some Ridicule us but Some Understand us too.

The good news is there is one such guy by name Amit Verma. Who is taking us seriously. And Acknowledging our Problem. And he and his friends are from the soon-to-be-would-be generation as I would coin them all. He has listed us on his blog and there has been a short discussion so far with his friends.

The comments received to his article also had a decent discussion. Two girls of which one started off with a common perception but was later convinced on basis of facts by Amit. The other was having a decent opinion too.

I would pray for all the new generation people that they live in harmony. And do not lose the peak and precious years of their life as victims.

Thank You Amit (visit his blog), Tanvi and Priya, you and your Friends are invited to join SaveIndianFamily to spread awareness for a better tomorrow.

A space to us on your blog gives a space to you all in our hearts.

Welcoming You All,

Jinesh Zaveri.

SaveIndianFamily,

Co-Moderator.

Wear Your Attitude

Activists of SaveIndianFamily Bharti, Gorky have come up with Propaganda T Shirts. Peco Chakravatru Reports...

View here

They have came out so well, that they were displayed by the makers of the TShirts on their Window for about an Hour.

Euphoric,

Jinesh Zaveri.

Norway: Woman convicted of rape.

N E W S

From the Original Post

http://www.aftenposten.no/english/local/article1027927.ece

the news are...

Woman convicted of rape.

In a landmark case a 23-year-old woman has been convicted by a Bergen court for the rape of a 31-year-old man.

The woman was sentenced to nine months in prison and ordered to pay NOK 40,000 (USD 6,385) to the man.
The incident occurred on Jan. 4 last year in a Bergen apartment. The man testified that he fell asleep on a sofa and woke up to find the woman performing oral sex on him.
The woman eventually admitted sexual contact but claimed that it was voluntary and that the man was willing and smiled.
The case has attracted attention and is the first time a Norwegian woman has been charged with raping a man.

More details will be updated soon.

Jinesh Zaveri.

Emperors New Clothes

Every 2nd day, I come across an article that talks about the "ablah status" of women in India. An article that talks about Domestic Violence and Abuse by male (as if male by default is pagal prani). Most of those are the ones who keep on commenting as a third party, but, with no home work from both the sides. Well the reason must be, there are plenty of people who like to sail with the wind, till they come across something that is an eye opener. (At the moment I would tell them, Those are your specs and they do not contain my eye numbers so do not impose your myopic eye vision to me, rather understand my numbers.)

Gandhiji Once said
"An error does not become truth by reason of multiplied propagation, nor does truth become error because nobody sees it"

I would like to stress on the same point.

a) A correlation for better understanding.
Fact 1: Having defect in viewing is a disorder.
It can be corrected by wearing glasses. But the defect still remains.

Fact 2: There are people who wear glasses to their advantage that make them look good too.
But in both the cases the fact cannot be over ruled, that eyes are defective.

But, Fact 3 is: There are people who would wear glasses without numbers to their eyes, just to make a fashion statement. To look good, *to get noticed*

Similarly there are people who actually suffered like fact no.1

There are people who suffered but bounced back successfully like fact no.2

But here, the harsh fact no 3 is, there are people who (pose to) suffer to get noticed, and make a fashion statement of being called 'abla or helpless Indian women'.

The Mumbaiya proverb (that my office peon says) that fits here the best and that is “Yeda ban ke peda khata hai” That is posing oneself as dumb and gaining the peda to eat by enjoying public sympathy (on face value), without any work.

b) Hypothesis (for better explanation of my point) : Let us take another possibility where people do not vote cancer as a disease. Where the junta polls and the debates and the literature etc one day in unison agree that “cancer is not a disease and it does not kill”. They say it is a healthy state of lifestyle and blah blah blah. Now, one Jinesh and his group of friends who from a few drops out of ocean are of the opinion that cancer is a disease and they disagree to the entire world population of intellects.

But then, the statistics reveal that only a group states that cancer is a disease and the rest world in the majority states that it is healthy. Does that mean that cancer won’t kill?
Unfortunately It would still be a killer by the virtue of its nature and not majority opinion. So in other words “Truth is Truth and nothing else but the Truth”

c) Another example: In other words, the whole population agreed that the Emperor’s New clothes were the best and made him look handsome. They formed an Opinion poll and the votes were in 100% in favour to the emperor. The junta pretended to have seen the emperors new clothes, till a child challenged the rest, who formed majority and projected the propaganda as truth with statistics and explanations. But the truth was what the tiny boy said about emperors nakedness. The size of the kid shows that truth does not accompany size (quantity) and it also states it does not require majority to prove itself. It comes in small packets, but genuine.

So is the misuse of Section 498A where the feminists and politicians are merely branding it as fact no.3 to pull the vested junta and also infect the other fable minded naris. They want free lunches. But they need to be reminded that they are ruling and they are the emperors, they have people around them to support their inflated and grotesque data away from facts. But there are brave kids in the village, innocent and transparent asking Hey dude, where are the clothes?

Now remember emperor said the ones who won’t spot my clothes will be beheaded. Well, Unfortunately I could not spot the clothes but I see only spots on the body. Now my lord, since I can’t be henpecked will I be hand cuffed?

Will I be beheaded? Tell me... anybody please...

Anxiously,

Jinesh Zaveri.

498A: In between the Lines

Dear World,

My understanding on Section 498A is as follows

• Section 498A is forever applicable and it is also Anti Dowry Law- within seven years of marriage.
• It is Applicable on the Indian Husbands and his family members irrespective of their innocence.
• It is Applicable by the Indian bride and her family members (of the parental side.)
• It is effective tool for the brides to negotiate/ dictate terms within wedlock and during divorce negotiations.

From the examples of misuse, the actual truth in between the lines written in 498A, is revealed differently when put in practice.

It states about being,
Non Bailable: That means there would be no bail to the accused who shares the total burden of proof. On discovering that the accused is victim of misuse, they are charged a good ransom to be actually bailed out. Actually bailing out innocent ailing old parents is a task. In certain cases an infant girl of 3 days old has also been taken behind bars or even pregnant sisters. Till the court decides, one has to be at the mercy of the luck. Meanwhile this explanation is given to the victim husbands by the girls' side to effectively negotiate the alimony amount too.

Non-Compoundable: It means the victims are guilty till proven innocent. And even if the accuser when in senses or satisfied sadistically, decides to withdraw, the battle is now taken over by the state which does not guarantee absence of corrupt officials, and the accuser is out of the picture.

Cognizable: Even if the accuser decides to withdraw the charges, still no one but the law recognizes the lie as a crime in spite of the withdrawal. The law makes it mandatory for the police to arrest all those named in the accused list.

Further the lines of Section 498A reads as “Any wilful conduct…” I would add in to brackets like this “Any wilful conduct (According to the perception of the bride)...” because the conditions laid down are highly arguable, vague and does not serve the actual and so called purpose that is intended.

In other words, Nobel Invented Dynamite. His purpose was to Automate the breaking down process of mountains to create tunnels. But Dynamite has been MISUSED as infamous land mines in war, at a large scale since long.

This Section 498A, it was made to protect Sitas but Surpanakhas are encashing on it. (read more)

"Is Anybody Listening, Observing, Caring...

Can You Join us in eradicating Misuse of Law?

Please Speak Up, Spread the awareness, Voice your Opinion.

Jinesh Zaveri.

SIF Mumbai.