Jaane Bhi do Yaaron

I am a Gujju (often pronounced as Good Jew and may be that is why Hitler Spared me :-D) But, I am quite influenced by my Maharashtrian Neighbors and Collegues who have been God like during my depressing times. In Past 10 days, I have been at my lowest in eight months ever since I have been blogging. And it was getting too boring being down, so I decided to laugh it out somewhat.

I am representing the skit that I had written in my college, this time definitely remixed with 498a in it (then little did I know then that there is such a law and that I will be blogging it one day) I am sure all Maharashtrians will take it in the same spirits as my Colleagues and Neighbors who hold most of the surnames in the Society. This skit is limited to jokes with no intention of pulling down anyone. All characters here are fictitious and any resemblance to anyone living or dead has to be a sheer coincidence.

Once upon a time a Marathi Mulga (boy) named Abhay Wagh Fell in love with his class mate a Marathi Mulgi Kanta Waghmare. (Well some Maharashtrian surnames are also very unique, if translated it works out to some meaning. In this case Wagh means Tiger and Waghmare means Hunters of Tiger or also Tiger Killers.)

This story is post 1983, in the era of 498a misuse and dowry less urban marriages. Where the ingredients of a Hindu marriage are still the same, that is to say Husband, Wife, and husband’s joint family and the regular anticipations of the wife to stay away in a nuclear family and husbands unperturbed devotion to parents along with wife. But with Section 498a in the backdrop the story unfolds like this...

After some months of marriage, Wife nags and demands a nuclear family, Husband is sandwiched, tries to play the hero with a middle way out working out a win win for all the parties. But this hurts the ego of Wife and she goes away to her parent’s house.

Girl's Family, The Waghmares are now furious and they file a 498a on the family of Waghs on a friday evening, Kanta’s family became the Kaante for the Waghs. Abhay Wagh and his family members were caged, I mean arrested by the charges put by Waghmares u/s 498a and other accompanying charges of 406, and other charges that I would deliberately not mention. Abhay was full of bhay of being arrested again if the bail got rejected. But, They were released after some holocaust.

Now, the Wagh’s were busy quashing the charges on them. Their Lawyer Mr. Khare (Kahre means Right/True in Marathi) was giving a tough fight to the lawyer of the Whagmares- Mr. Khote (Wrong/False in Marathi) The case ran that was dragged to a knothole witness different tenure of the judges who changed from Mr. Khan to Mr.Walker to Mr. Khanwalker.

Abhay now comes across a movement call "Save Indian Family" that fights Elder Abuse and Misuse of family laws that is section 498a that lack the essence of Evidence Act. Abhay was counselled by the victim brothers of the same boat and he is now running “self-sponsored-Free-to-users” independent Helplines of the group. He attends the victims personally and also if required, then blog-fights on the net against those who call names to Save Indian Family like Shaming Indian Families etc. He hates the fact that people just do not give a fair chance to the innocent husbands family and benefit of doubt is to the cunning Wife's family by default.

Over the shoulder, This guy would have been settled with some difference here and there in life, if 498a was not prevailing in its current form. Would have excelled in his life as a man of family with his wife and children born to them.

But with the family broken morally, financially, stately rather ubiquitously, he is still finding it hard to settle down with the fact that his money, time and age all have gone in proving him and his family Innocent under the presumptuous law that holds one guilty till proven innocent, the law which is exempted from evidence act, the law that is justified by the documented stories of one side and does not accept the other side of documentation. The law arguably called as the liar’s law, the anti-dowry law and Section 498a.

Abhay Wagh, who always sang “Hum Honge Kamyaab ek din”, was once interviewed by one of the journalist who realized the whole scence and he though being optimistic did realize that his generation of people have lost it all. And he just said “Hum honge Kamyab? Ab Jaane bhi do yaaro (let it be), We are stranded, We could have been better off, But we are now fighting for the Elders and next generation"

Hum Honge Kamyab... Ek din,

Jinesh Zaveri.

United Un-tied

These days the mantra of being un-tied has got on in to the minds of the youth. My casual talking with the youth and vice-versa has not stopped and their candid confessions too keep flowing and inspiring me to write more. Thus keeping me away from my frustrated state of affairs.

'Salaam Namaste', 'No strings attached', these are the mantras that the youngsters tell me. On asking them Why So? They would look at me and give a typical sounding answer “Uncle look at you, and also the other case in my family and one there and here and so on….”

“Live In” is also what they call. That is quite opposite in the commitments to Marriage. Funnily but sensibly enough, Opposite of “Live In” in other terms may also be called as “Die Out”. Which means if

"No-Strings-Attached" = "Live in",

then it’s opposite "Marriage" = "Die out".

And why not with such one side binding win lose laws. Be it a 406 or 498a or whatever. It is either Lose Lose or Lose Win.

But with “Live In”, Should one recall those happy ones as “…and they remained happily unmarried ever after…” Or I would call this situation as “United Un-tied.”

But in Live In what the new generation perceives as Win-Win I would perceive as a pukka “Lose-Lose”. To escape the misuse of law this solution has turned out to be surrogate solution. But both parties are actually loosing out on binding.

But, rather than a surrogate solution, I would still hang on with improvement in the law and making the marriage practices (like not accepting dowry) more practical through mass awareness instead of a blind laws. And recommend the 7 Habits of highly effective people and families and would atone the practice of the very divine 7 vows and rounds that make a successful marriage.

What do you all think?

Jinesh Zaveri.

Statistics and 498a

Dear All,

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Something that I have respected unconvincingly is Statistics. I have respected because if totally used in some limits, it is very useful and if used in length but in isolation then it can be totally misleading. But the question is where do we draw a line?

For example, Two batsmen with a strike rate of 200%, sounds genius but we find that both though share the same strike rate one achieved the same by virtue of 50 runs in 25 deliveries and the other scored 2 runs of 1 ball. Funny isn’t it?

Similarly, we have leaders who have successfully established themselves as icons be it as a chief of a Gender Lobby. Or who brands a baba as a non vegetarian or someone who has shut the doors to the dancing ‘women’ in bars. They have repeatedly expressed their concern over mandatory registering complaint of the daughter-in-law in the police station every time if-she-feels-harassed.

My question to these people is “Is there any agenda behind this?” and I get an answer “Yes that is Statistics”, while some people would call it as scam or racket I would discuss on the blunder that has been committed.

They say 1) there cannot be such laws where the sections are against the daughter-in-law. But they also agree that the misuse of the over protecting laws has been in abundance. They are not documented as there are no “Specific” sections to do so.
2) They also say that everytime a daughter-in-law complains, the cognizance has to be taken (they actually mean irrespective of the authenticity of the complaint).

The Catch: This only means that we are ‘merely’ adding on to the statistics which will project a pathetic and scary one sided picture. Conversely, now we do not have a special section that is enforced on the sides of the daughters in law, and the stringency is almost absent as I encounter many pre 498a victims complaining that the police refused to take the NC and after easily applicable 498a where would they go? Now while taking a glance at the end of year we are left with ready reckoner on the section 498a front and related sections but when it comes to the sections applied on the daughters in law which is rare as there are no compulsions, well, that is where those cases are lost among the regular criminal cases and the distorted result shows that the DV and Dowry cases are on rise and once again they do not get a separate identity of criminals.

But now what do we need to do? File a PIL, sounds good but it needs each ones contribution. Why? Because PIL is about PUBLIC INTEREST and just 1 or 2 do not make PUBLIC, it requires Junta. Then only the judiciary has business to mind and hence we need to build our own real statistics and fight against the pseudo projections with one sided compulsions that makes a drunkard of an institution that uses statistics like a pole to balance itself when fully drunk.

Few days back I tried pushing the non functioning car of my Jijaji but had no luck and it was exhausting, I alone could not make much difference but once people joined the effort required to push that car for each one was almost negligible with everyone putting their strength and we could push the car easily.

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Similarly, please participate in the PIL contribute invaluably in your own way. Help us help you. We need our strength to be heard in right spheres. Else this statistics will eat us up.

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My brother rightly argues on statistics that if there are 10 women in a room where one is pregnant then the statisticians will project each women as 10% pregnant. Or out of 10 women if 5 are virgins then each one would be 50% virgin. Or the SMS that read “If Laden had 20 kids out of 4 wives and Laloo had 10 from 1 rabri definitely laloo averages better inspite of Laden’s 20.”

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Now how do we fight against poison? By using the poison in an antidote. So let build the real statistical strength of separate identity. Please Sign the PIL to succeed one day.

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Miles to go… but now quickly,

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Jinesh Zaveri.

Husbands are Innocent

A Picture is equal to a thousand Words, I have 5 Such pictures today that tell a story.

1. Show me the Money Honey!!!!

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2. "Don't move... Let me check your Pockets"

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3. Ahhh, Got the Money

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4. Enough for today's Shopping

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5. Cya Later

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So...what do you say?

Jinesh Zaveri.