Two Anniversaries

This post is dedicated to the Dear Parents and family members of SIF.

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There are two anniversaries to encounter, one to mourn(498a) and other to celebrate (9224335577).

Exactly one year ago, 1st Mumbai helpline was launched, Dedicated to the parents as a x-mas gift. This was the day when 498a witnessed its 23rd year of un-amended existence and 22nd anniversary. One year later 498a is coupled with the clumsy and disgraceful DV Act. Sadly in its disgraceful 24th year, 498a is unchanged and 23 years old but the helpline gets one year old and is giving a tough fight to the mis-users of the Law.

On this 1st anniversary of helpline I would like to take a brief account of what happened in last 365 days, this helpline has helped Mumbai to grow from 15 to 100+ on the net and much more on ground, it could establish Nashik chapter and integrate various other chapters. It handled calls from old age parents to the concerned sister apart from the husbands too. It also had the privilege to handle a couple of distressed cases of women and girls too. It has also identified a couple of false callers too. Overall, it has represented the support of SIF to the victims.

It handled media and also international calls. From 1 call every 3 days to 3 calls a day and now a call every 3 minutes this christmas. It has come a long way to reach this level.

While there are state sponsored helplines for wives, there are none for husbands and to fight legal terrorism and help Save Indian Families from breaking and blackmailed. Meanwhile thankfully...

- Mid Day Gujarati Publishes a full page article on the movement and all Gujarati victims seek refuge in loads.

- Times of India Publishes a Half Page Article. And guess what the calls wouldn’t stop since then.

- Sandhyanand Marathi Follows the suit everytime it sees such informative news informing the marathi bandhus.

Thanks to Gupta Uncle, Gokul and Suhail for sharing the load of helpline by including their numbers. I also thank Rakesh for extending his support in field on weekends in spite of his busy schedule.

We would also thank Sakal, Lokmat, Abhiyaan, India Today, Hindustan Times, Asian Age, Zee News, India TV, Channel 7, CNN-IBN Live, Star News for the coverage of the movement and other channels and media too.

This helpline has made all our parents proud as today it was busy handling loads of calls on its birthday and redirecting them to the right region and has got associated with the new NGO in making “Protect Indian Family” Mumbai.

So, on another disgraceful birthday bashing to 498a, let us celebrate Xmas and 1 yr of Helpline Success. As the helpline was worth it.

Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday to Mumbai Helpline.

Jinesh Zaveri.

Men Gender Badnaam

FIASCO: FALSE STATISTICS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

13 November 2006, Washington Times Publishes an article that brings more ignominy, adding insult to the injury of Indian husbands. It misinterpreted that 70% of Indian women were subject to Domestic Violence and marital rape. I was unaware of this SIF alert mail as my internet phone lines were dead since a week.

Rick B, a radio host of CBC-1, Vancouver, was the first one to inform me (indirectly by asking me a question on a live broadcast). 14th November 2006, I get a call from Radio CBC Canada, expressing their interest to take my telephonic interview live on radio regarding the indian domestic violence act 2005, with a lead time of 15 minutes.

It seems this misleading article shook all those who read, and the concern was felt in the 2nd question asked to me. And that was about this claim of 70%. Rick, according to me, a very impressive radio host was right in questioning me; after all it was published in Washington Times and stated that it was a UN population fund report in 2005. My counter question was about the source through which this was asked. Further I shared the plight of representatives of husband who face the identity crises in statistics due to absence of mechanism for male in getting the abuse of wife recorded as at the most NCO is recorded and that does not reflect in the national statistics. Slowly, now public opinion on this is changing as they realize this fact going unnoticed till date. (I will be soon uploading the audio interview, once I learn how to blog it).

Meanwhile, SIF did not sit quietly as investigations were required. David Usher of RADAR represented this concern with actual facts asking explanation of the sources that gave this figure questioning Brinda Karat and some copy cat journos. 29th November 2006 Washington Times announces the correction thus “saving Indian families” from being “misbranded.”

Before the correction, I was also contacted by Gujarati Weekly Abhiyaan, who too vehemently represented the misleading fact while interviewing me on the phone. But on telling them they realized about the absence of mechanism of complaints, which they presented with conviction later. Since it was a telephonic interview they were unable to get the figures right and my figures were misquoted. I was contacted just some hours before the submission of the story for review and publishing, so a personal meeting was not possible.

Abhiyaan reported that approx 5700 cases of 498a witnessed conviction in 2004 but at the same time misprinted that nearly half of them were reported false. (THE FACT: 4 times more are already reported false, the acquittal ratio is 61% and the rest are in the process. (Source: RTI Act) and trends will reflect of over all 2% conviction rate as per the averages seen over the years). The married M/F suicide data below was also misquoted as "45:37" instead of 45:25.

Anyway the actual figures are as per the statistics: (Source: National Bureau of Crime)
On every 100 suicides we have 63:37 Male : Female ratio.
On every 100 Male suicides we have 45 males who are married.
On every 100 female suicides we have 25 females who are married.

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Surprisingly, there is 304B that puts all the in-laws of the dead bride behind bars in case of death in mysterious circumstances calling it as a dowry death only without proof. But there are 45% men whose suicides go un-investigated suo-moto. Falsely 498a-ed Rajesh Hasmukh Desai was one such Save Indian Family member who committed suicide and his wife and her family members are freely moving around. I thank Abhiyaan to cover this fact.

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Further on Domestic Violence I would quote an Interesting example that stuck my brain during Radio Canada Interview and that is of FIFA World Cup Finals. There are cases where many Husbands make a Zidane of self by getting provoked when his parents or siblings are abused (esp mother and sister). He gets a red card too as people witness the head butt. Similarly a husband too walks in to the trap of the Tears-Ready-Wife and hits her. And all she has to do is Cry. His red card would come from the police in form of 498a or DV. Sadly his silence and tolerance limits are ignored that lasted for days together till he got provoked from verbal abuse.

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He is definitely tagged as a wife-beater, Nobody notices that he was quite for so many days till the wife worked consistently so hard to provoke him by selective sulking, verbal abuse, emotional and mental abuse and provoke on his manhood etc (this study till date is ignored). All said and done with some tears the lady enjoys the luck of Matarazzi and get the world cup for her team (sadly, some even call it no pain no gain, and even blood sweat tears and pain to gain) . Bottom line: the winner takes it all and the loser gets it none. But, 1 sec. I have all my empathies for the real victim women and the act of hitting is not justified in any case. Here I am discussing a bird view of what happens.)
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Let us face it, There are abusive ‘spouses’, but some make it a gender issue. The movie “Provoked” starring Aishwarya Rai was based on one such incident where the abusive husband is murdered, that is glorified too but when a nasty, abusive wife has to face the music in terms of a Zidane on her, the innocent angry husband walks in to the trap of law where there is no background or reality check. Why bad wives are not under check? Why there is no law to control them? Why there are NO spouse centric laws in India? 498a is a wife centric law and not women centric law because it would arrest all innocents too even women who are related to husband - the male.
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It reminds me of my favourite marathi proverb “Jasa Dista, Tasa Nasta, Mahnun Jag Fasta”. (What you see is not always true and hence the world gets conned.)
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Women as a gender enjoy sympathy naturally and Men as a gender struggle for a status with a defamation in background. Cascading effects of Washington Times in media tells it all. Abhiyaan reporter laughed it out when I suggest a lyrics change in “Mein Shayar Badnaam song” to “Men Gender Badnaam, Men Fasa haaaan Men Fasa”.
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Figuring it out,
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Jinesh Zaveri.