Sawan jo agan lagaye… Machinery that Abets Male Suicide!

Sawan jo agan lagaye... Machinery that Abets Male Suicide!

Mujhe peene ka shauk nahi,
peeta hu gham bhulane ko.

Loose Translation: I do not drink by choice but I forcibly do that to divert my mind from sorrow.
But who cares? As the person expressing is a male and an Indian husband in this case. Not even last on anyone’s priority list.

Thud! Was the loud sound, but it did not penetrate the minds of many who are sleeping or pretending to be asleep. It came from the cracking of his body parts but the sound did not enter the hearts and minds of the biased System and Society.

He jumped from the 6^th floor in the Bandra Family Court premises. One twitter user had this advise to give on the world wide web, which added insensitive insult to sensitive injuries on mens rights issue. And the noteworthy fact is the tweet got instant likes and retweets. 

It would have been better, if there was no teasing instead of adding insult to the injury. MRA from all over India including Vaastav Foundation of mumbai rightly reported this tweet and the tweet was found deleted. But it has once again dented deeper on the attitude of society on men which is 'taken-for-granted' on either sides. I believe such voices need to be corrected proactively before they become statistics themselves, as ignorance of law and your rights is not an excuse. 

 

TOI reported that wife was seeking divorce as husband was alcoholic. What the system missed was the suo-motu investigation on why husband took to the self destructive habit that provides one of the highest sin taxes to the state governments, I mean Drinking. Did he want to divert his mind from the daily domestic stress? Probably yes. Was he under stress in the court with anxiety of what will happen? Probably yes.  

Ideally, He was to be handled humanely for his stress and addiction. But I guess the system is deep rooted to MANhandle a Man beyond collecting sin taxes.

Systems are made to put things in right place where as here they are working counter-productively. Such recurring events, reminds me of the song written by Anand Bakshiji from AmarPrem movie...

"Chingari koi bhadke to sawan usey bujhaye,
Sawan jo agan lagaye usey kaun bujhaye?"

Loose translation: when fire spreads, then there is (Rain) water to extinguish it, but what if (Rain) water spreads the fire, then who can (ever) extinguish it? Rain water is the system and society and fire is their attitude towards a man and a husband.

Husband walking in the courts knows about the system and spouse that…

"Mera Katil Mera Munsif hai,
Kya mere haq mein faisla dega?"

Loose translation of Nida Fazliji's lines: My assassin is my Judge, what justice will (s)he do in my favour? The Biased system and Society (against man/husband) cannot do justice with a man, a husband.

If our system is not concerned beyond sin taxes on alchohol with no effective social responsibility.... and so long as women empowerment practice is not going to start empowering women without robbing the husband of love and money.... till then our system and society are adding fuel to fire and we will have more families breaking, husbands dying like toy soldiers and added as another brick in the wall in the statistics. Courtesy to the ignorant System and Society, that is becoming a major contributor in such suicides.

A husband would be killed by suicide (abetted) with impunity of the so called weak gender. Paving way for the ultimate goal of her - 'Freedom and share in his assets'. One seasoned lady MRA has an accurate observation on next possible equations in all such cases, this observation has always been highlighted by this blogspot since its inception. Man remains the silent provider. Zindagi ke saath bhi zindagi ke baad bhi.

Further, if this guy was a farmer and if he had committed suicide due to spousal pressures, then no spousal abuse angle would have been considered even, as the silent unwritten rule goes that farmers’ suicide cannot be due to spousal abuse. However this topic of manipulation is for discussion on another day.

Tab tak, dear systemwasis of the society, seko Roti apni apni. Including those men who feel it cannot happen to them or their near ones, and the clan that firmly believes that spousal abuse on male is exception, and hence everytime they suggest a higher floor to jump cold bloodedly.

huMAN rights stay RIPped apart.

jinesh zaveri.

Father, the Bass Guitar: Making of a Dasharath

Father, the Bass Guitar: Making of a Dasharath

In my college days, my musician friend once told me, that Bass Guitar is an instrument which won’t be loud in performance, absolutely not noteworthy. But when present, makes the music worthwhile and it is realised only when the bass guitar is absent. So is a father.

That is why most/some mothers who walk out of the marriage along with their kid(s), later remember the bass guitar (father), but they won’t muster the courage to admire and admit its role. Rather she would reprimand it (him) to be played (paid) else makes him to play (pay) through the Honorable Courts, and that too unconditionally with thanklessness (where father only gives but gets nothing in return). But a child supported by his father is only told that (Bass Guitar) father is a cacophony.

What Fathers want in return? Answer is 'Love' rather opportunity to again GIVE LOVE.  If  father and child are lucky, then they are allowed to meet only 2 hours in a fortnight, which may not be necessarily at a comfortable location for meeting, and under civil proceeding codes of the Hon Courts. That makes 48 hours in an year (that too if the mother turns up with the kid). How will that father sculptor sculpt his creation with his noble intent in this short time?

Nothing has changed in Father’s Love and concern even today. It was always there. Searching for citations ? Well it is in every house since ages, as Raja Dasharath pined for his Son Rama centuries back because of a condition laid down by his wife. It was the same, with parents of Sharavana, whose father also cursed Dasharath. Wasn’t that a Father’s Love that cursed Dasharatha ?

Why is it, that courts want a modern day father to be a Dashrath ? That is, wanting him to continue living without his kid(s). (Well Dashrath would be called lucky as he had Bharat and Shatrughna, it was pre hindu code bill era. However he pined for Shri Ram and died) But imagine a modern day father who has no such options. Still Hon courts want a father to be righteous in providing food and shelter to the estranged family and also abstain from loving the family and being loved.

Again, one viewpoint is this, that the father is not a good man, so keep him away from the kids. Well, it may be one exceptional case, but please note in most such cases - however unethical, unsuccessful, a person may be, but as a father, he would have a father’s heart for his offspring. Need citations? Dritrashtra – his blind 'putra-moh' was equally responsible for Mahabharat. The bigger point we are discussing is a father's LOVE. And significance of a father in life of his child.

And no one talks about the epitome of super sacrifice Bheesma (but in the modern context), this Modern Bhishma loves his kids so much that he does not want them to be born in this ugly struggling world. As there is nothing worthy apart from struggles. Not many will understand the height of this love. If they don’t, then it is not their cup of tea.The grapes are really sour here.

Father’s Day is like Dashera and Laxmi Pujan, where we worship our tools that give us prosperity. Similarly, we acknowledge our father’s sacrifice and love, which the Hon. Courts and estranged wives understand in form of money transfer from the ATM Dad, but alas has no appreciation for the tool. However, no mother has Right to deprive her kids from their father's access, as she is depriving 'the sculpting of a good creation from the co-sculptor'. 

Fathers in courts are Significant Materialistically (that is only to Give) and Insignificant at the give and take of LOVE with his Loved ones (kids in this context).

For the remaining lucky audience as on date, I suggest, they should cherish all the notes in the orchestra, because offsprings at any age needs BOTH their PARENTS.

Happy Fathers Day.

Jinesh Zaveri.