Bichade Sabhi Bari Bari: Like Toy Soldiers.

There are loopholes in Indian Laws, that would make a wife a control freak and a man henpecked or handcuffed, the situation is something to take a note of. And as a more prompt effect when such a control freak law falls in hand of an already control freak wife, she simply freaks out on her legal husband and his relatives. A balanced law is hence needed.

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The side effect of a no penalty on misuse of law is devastating, in a country where joint family and family values are supreme and are also a part of 7 vows of hindu marriage. The end result leaves the family shattered along with the male who is grown in a traditional atmosphere and has to adjust more to the so called forward lack luster westernized nuclear family culture. Westerners wonder on joint family system and back home the 21st century bahu does not consider it as wonderful. And hence the joint family is the prime target of the control freaks. Who would rather divide and rule, by any justification, false stats and what not.

The control freak situations and law leaves a husband so frustrated that he commits suicide. Because there is no dedicated law existing for his well being or for his parents or siblings, while he is alive or even after he is dead. A control freak wife gets sympathy as a women where as the sister and mothers of husbands who fall in same category called women are still fighting for identity crises as against the wife as per the law, facing the false charges.

On this womens day, I dedicate this post to the mothers and sisters of those husbands who are still trying to establish some identity as women against the wife centric laws in name of so called women empowerment. Late Rajesh Desai’s father Hasmukhbhai did not speak up on his sons suicide, as his daughters marriage was round the corner and did not want a misuse on her (this blog has witnessed such attacks by supporters of the misuse of wife centric laws, on women supporting SIF Movement). And for SIF it is a huge blow every time one of the family members commits suicide, I feel like dedicating these lines to the SIF Family.

"Matlab ki duniya hai saari, Bichade Sabhi…., Bichade sabhi bari bari, Arey dekhi Zamane ki Yaari, Bichade sabhi bari bari…." (SIF Members Late Pushkar from Lucknow and Late Rajesh Hasmukh Desai of Ahmedabad), "Step by step, heart to heart, left right left, They all fell down like Toy Soldiers, Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win, But the battle wages on for toy soldiers".

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While one wants control on the bank balance and inheritance of males, they do not want to pledge an inch in form of even responsibility, forget share (and who wants it, yeh to kehene ki baat hai). And forget males, when their sisters and mothers go to the police for their protection and ask for justice to punish the culprit who is a wife, they too hear the most common ‘haunting’ and helpless answer from the top most officials, the answer that leaves me SHIT scared and unsecured for this side of the family and that answer is “hamare pass pravdhan nahi hai.” (We do not have provisions to arrest a culprit wife")
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Infact there should be laws for a control freak "Human", irrespective of Gender Bias, and focused on crime. While such misuse has Pushkar and Rajesh on our records, but so many deaths of Married Men go unreported and eclipsed as work stress or Accident. A lot needs to be done.
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Alas…..

Jinesh.

I hope MASI (Mothers and Sisters Initiative) will restore the balance. Nahi to Bichadenge sabhi bari bari, just like toy soldiers.