Husbands are Human Too - My Free Press Journal Article

HUSBANDS ARE HUMAN TOO.

IPC Section 498a was introduced in December 1983 to curb the Dowry menace in the society. This tool was made to empower a wife, who could file a complain against her warring in-laws. 498a was cognizable, non bailable and non compoundable. The state would appoint a ‘sarkari vakil’ to represent wife’s case against the husband and his family. 

But being non-bailable, this law has a major loop hole of arresting all accused without investigations including senior citizens, minors, mothers and sisters of husbands. 498a and other sections were soon frequently misused as a negotiating tool for alimony in a failed marriage, with no dowry in reality. Misuse later became a standard malpractice. Lawyers and police too joined the wife in the bargain, and the husband was reduced to an ATM machine. Supreme Court reacting to a Writ filed in 2005 [Sushilkumar Sharma v/s Union of India], termed misuse of 498a as LEGAL TERRORISM. 

With evolution of internet some wounded husbands had posted their story in forums, who later got connected. The numbers multiplied quickly, yahoogroup was formed where some 40 odd users including NRI’s initially got connected for brain storming. The need was felt to save the families from falling apart and hence this movement was named as SAVE INDIAN FAMILY in March05. They observed that both in post or pre 498a, the parents either disowned the son or got separated as a damage control exercise. There were death cases of senior family member of the husband’s side due to shock as a result of arrests. The family unit thus got shattered because of a case or one anticipated. Slowly in 3 months time the group grew over 500 families. Learned professionals with no criminal track record were the ones who comprised of this group. Today approx 40000 families across various groups are a part of this movement.

Often misled by lawyers, now group conducted its own indigenous weekly meetings outside Patiala house in Delhi, Cubbon Park at Bangalore, and National Park Mumbai, thus a self help group was formed with mutual bonding and knowledgebase grew for free with no monetary transactions. The victims came from very well educated middle class backgrounds with qualifications like MBA, Doctors, CA and Software Engineers. Later blogs and sites like mynation.net, saveindianfamily.org 498a.org etc came up. One of the oldest members Rishab says that when they surfed the web in 2004 there was no moral support or direction, now with blogs, sites, self pledged helpline numbers and teams, new victims get instant relief.

Advent of RTI in 2005 gave a major breakthrough to the victims who were facing identity crises in society, court rooms and police stations but the first relief came when media took a note of the figures that exposed the statistical scam in showing atrocities on wives. With Malimath committee appointed by the NDA government showed concerns over misuse, the CSR report stated 498a being unable to convict people beyond 2% due to lack of evidences, the hidden message was very clear that 98% of cases were not qualifying enough. To support this trend NCRB figures of 2006-7 revealed around 94% of accused were acquitted after the ignominious arrests, bailing and painful court battles with gross conviction again hovering in single digits.  This data was diligently analyzed by SIF’s qualified team. In 2007, off 87929 persons who completed trial, only 13247 persons were convicted thus giving a first level acquittal rate of 85%. 

Manpreet [age:28]  project manager by profession faced arrest along with his parents and a dozen relatives accused by his distressed wife who wanted to teach a lesson for not buying her a separate flat in her name. The cases filed were 498a, 406 streedhan, domestic violence act, and maintenance in spite of wife’s employment. He also had to face the harsh attitude of judges towards him being a male. 38 year old, Yatin’s confrontation with his adulterous wife got his entire family into criminal and civil cases at 3 different locations, Pune [Alimony], Buldhana [DV], Mumbai [498a], he says ‘with false cases on family and without my daughter I would have committed suicide. But SIF’s moral support with selfless help has made me an activist today.

From once a bunch of disgraced laughing stock to a strong 40+ NGO network across globe for Indian Men’s family welfare, with groups of separated fathers, plus women’s wing of mothers and sisters, the fraternity is optimist in bringing a change. 

“There is a lot more” says Rishab, “Law should be constructive not Dogmatic, Wives should be awarded interim jobs not alimony, as alimony is the root cause. Its like Lagaan that made pre-independent India hollow. When we can have Ministry for women and even animals, why not a ministry for men who contribute 82% of taxes” Rishab concludes with a smile.

[all names changed to protect identity]

[Jinesh Zaveri is an activist associated with Indian Family Foundation Mumbai] 

This article of mine was published in Free Press Journal's weekend supplement, who once again invited me to write, this time I wrote on formation of Save Indian Family, this was published on on 8th August 2010. 

Alimony Kills Her Real Potential

Indian Girls are born here but made elsewhere because in India it is believed legally that women are dependent and inferior. Thought they had voting rights right from the beginning as compared to the western world yet the capable lot is swayed by the thinking of being under privileged inspite of a lady ruling the country for 17 yrs (Indira Gandhi) and now as a president (Pratibha Patil).

The courts award alimony and encourage their belief of being handicapped. But the fact is that today they are ruling the work place and are better office makers too. If these women were pampered to believe that they are weak they would have never made it big and ya some of them could because they were abroad away from the Indian victim mindset. Infact in India most Parents encourage the girl child to be on self but the indian courts and some groups do not.

Right now randomly I can think of some names of dynamic Indian women …

1) Kalpana Chawla (Astronaut)
2) Suneeta Williams (Astronaut)
3) Kiran Bedi (Needs no Introduction)
4) Arundhati Roy (Novelist)
5) Chanda Kochar (ICICI Chief)
6) Renuka Ramanathan (ICICI Venture Chief)
7) Kalpana Morparia (J P Morgan; Chief - India Operations)
8) Kiran Mazumdar Shaw (C MD – Biocon)
9) Mira Nair (Director)
10) Shabana Azmi (Actress)
11) Indra Nooyi (CEO and Chairperson Pepsi)
12) Ekta Kapoor (Creative Head - Balaji Telefilms)

Then why can’t any other indian woman who is estranged from her husband and also is ambitious to make it big in life and profession do it? Why are such women awarded alimony before they could rise up? By giving this facility we are killing the real potential in that lady.

They too have the potential, this could be best explained by the below given content (This data is slightly old showing indra nooyi as CFO)

Indian Men V/s Indian Women
:
:
Shah Rukh Khan – Actor
Earning Rs.247 per minute

Brij Mohan Lall Munjal – Chairman
Earning Rs.255 per minute

Amitabh Bachchan – Actor
Earning Rs.361 per minute

Mukesh Ambani – Chairman
Earning Rs.413 per minute

Sachin Tendulkar – Cricketer
Earning Rs. 1,163 per minute
:
:
:
Indra Nooyi – CFO
Earning Rs. 2911 per minute
:
:
:

A lady earns higher than a man in India.

So, do not award Alimony (SOWRY) to the Indian women, award her a job that could unleash her potential. Do not kill the potential of an Indian women by rendering her Abla or Helpless and dependent or weak just because she believes so or it is legal. Abort the practice of life time alimony for the new generation divorced women. Gift her the real freedom from her husband. Let the husband sponsor her 1 time basic qualification needs or find her a job. Let her not beg as a legal right. Let us not Kill her Real Potential.

Best New Year Wishes,

Jinesh Zaveri.

Indian Husbands Wake Up...

Dear Indian Husbands...

Come out of the ignorance, for the sake of your parents and siblings.

Ministers are OK... but we cannot be Ok with the misuse of Law.

We pay Taxes and the same money is used against the Husband by providing a State Sponsored Lawyer who fights a False case against us without investigation. Merely on a statement of a Bride without crosscheck the arrests are being made and we are fighting a battle where we are Guilty Until Proven Innocent.

To add Insult to the injury, volatile DV Act was introduced and Males by virtue of being males were declared as oppressors and womes as Victims by Virtue.

It is a law that promotes Hatred, Fear and more over Gross Injustice to the innocents.

Is it OK with You?

.

Spread the awareness, Proudly Demand Your Rights.

Don't be OK with Misuse, Your House may be the next.

Don't be Overconfident by virtue of your Innocence, Thanks to the Loop Holes.

Stree Hatt.

I am sharing a very disillusioning event that I witnessed in the court rooms. It tells that these places are basically apt for murder type case hearings but not for arguably civil procedures, such places in long run are waste of resources, thus discounting the seriousness of its purpose and operations.

It was a day of mild shower in Mumbai, Shravans father, a senior citizen had his eyes wet too. He had requested me to take a day off and be present for the moral support for bail hearing of his family with the courtesy of the false charges on them by their daughter in law, where as the real reasons were different. I came across this family through helpline.

His 40 yr old son’s estranged wife was caught red handed in a rekindled lost affair, as a result, she had to face the heat of Shravan. Her retaliation was no different from most of the cases, she called the shots and dictated terms with a false 406 and 498a that would support her decision of dispute and get the guy to obey rather than negotiate with her terms. She went to the court rooms inspired by what is heard and said. But the reality was soon to be revealed as too how un-filmy the real life is from what these women contemplate.

This hearing was supposed to take place at 2.30pm in the afternoon, but eventually it got delayed by other pending cases that were carried forward since morning. Only at around 3.45 pm Sharvan’s case was called. Shravan was sweating and almost getting a bout of his asthma attack, he was trying to be stable. Amid all, he was missing his 9 yr old son whom he has not seen since 8 months.

All may think that courts are happening places, like we see in movies but well it is different than what we think. First of all, the lawyer of Shravan came in very late thus giving him anxiety. After reaching there by the time the case could be taken, he dozed off waiting in the court room. The lawyer of the wife was also competing with her counterpart in dozing. It was tough to say who won in dozing. While, the hearing of piled up cases since morning was going on, there were two other female lawyers disinterested at the corner of the bench busy gossiping. Must be about their nail polish as they were caught by my eye comparing colors in the court room later they were also observing the nails of the legs and those pedicure and manicure stuff. I also observed in other cases that fates hung for nearly 2 months for the next hearing that would last for 2 minutes and then again get a suspension state for another 2 months.

Shravan’s case was called. Both the lawyers woke up from slumber. The wife had 2 lawyers one hired and other was the public prosecutor, the public prosecutor and defendant’s lawyer locked horns on bail. The husband and wife must have fought in the house, now these lawyers looked like as if they were the horses running in the race and sponsored individually by the couple of which the public prosecutor was sponsored out of the tax of the junta (of which more and max is paid by the males, sharavan was one of them).

The judge heard both the sides and gave a very balanced verdict from his point of view but it was a lose:lose for both husband and wife. How? Well, wife wanted the so called disputed property which she thought would get it the next day. But the bomb fell on her head when the disputed value of amount deposited to the court was held valid for 2 years and then renewed if required till the case gets over, she realized that if she had chosen for mutual settlement then this matter would not have gone in a loop of 2 years. It was Rs.50000/- in lieu of the fictitious ornaments that she claimed that were hers which were already accepted by the boy to pay by cash.

But she would not budge and hence the surety and bail too came in picture. Total 5 women and 2 men were accused. Sharavans 3 sisters, 1 aunty and mother including his father and him. For all of them a cash of Rs.70000/- (exceeding the disputed amount) as a surety was deposited that exceeded the disputed amount and also gave a 406 with a 498a. but the prosecutor argued for a guarantor for each one of them, what a torture! I was not sure what exactly was going on 406 or 498a but I was there to support morally by prescence.

Finally judge overruled the argument of the prosecutor but held that the family cannot move without court permission out of the city. This was a lose situation for Sharavan apart from a loser in money and family. But that is how the proceedings went. We went out of the room and we thought it was over but suddenly the peon popped from nowhere stating “me baghitla tumala” (I saw you) and he was asking for his tip (Chai Pani), sharavan had to shell out Rs.150/- for him too with a whispered bargaining and then he said “file ka khayal rakhega nahi to time lagta” (for smooth clerical proceedings) then he proceeded towards shravans’ wife group. Sharavan did not understand what he said but went on and apologized and thanked me for the trouble taken and being there.

He asked me what I felt and I said “It is all because of stubbornness of ONE lady that is Stree Hatt, so many have to suffer. Courts have to handle such frivolous matters and attend to the paper work. The national machinery of public prosecutors have been misused for 98% of times. A son and father are deprived of each others love and son is counseled that his father is a bad man. Her relatives had to come all the way to support her based on her statement and Sharavan’s Family had to face the 498a and 406 horror. And it was a lottery time for the lawyers and other members that formed that team.” I saw the faces of the girl and her relatives they revealed lets-us-sort-it-out-now attitude and the girl now probably realised that the damage was done to a greater extent and she had closed all the doors the moment she involved force to justify her stubborness.

Sharavan’s Father told me about Kaykay’s and both Sita’s and Surpanakha’s Stree Hatt in Ramayan. And he too repeated that “it was All because of stree hatt (a Woman’s Stubbornness) that his family too was in trouble.” Though the father and son looked relieved on getting bail but still I realised that all this could have been avoided if the girl was more mature.

I witnessed another Lose Lose situation.